


The Truth Can't Save You Now

by sparkinside



Category: AFI
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 02:24:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3101861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkinside/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Davey is the sole witness to a brutal murder. Adam Carson is the agent assigned to protect him. When the lines between duty and love blur, trouble is the only outcome. Written with Havoksangel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

Davey walked into the apartment to see Adam standing there, his back turned. They hadn’t spoken since the fight earlier and he was leery to even say anything now.

Adam ran his fingers along the rough edge of the window sill, lost in his thoughts. He still couldn't believe the words that had come out of his mouth. The things he'd said to Davey. It wasn't supposed to be like this, dammit. Why did it have to be so hard? Roughly, he slammed his fist against the frame. Damn this. Damn everything. Maybe he wasn't cut out for this. Maybe he should have just left when he had the chance. Maybe.

Davey jumped back at watching him hit the window and turned towards the stairs, deciding it best not to talk to him right now. He'd drawn back to hit him during the fight, he didn’t want a repeat occurrence because he knew his own temper just as well as he knew Adam's. Nothing good could come out of them talking.

Adam just didn't know anymore. He didn't know why he was still here. Why after all of the hell they'd been through, he remained. Loyalty? A sense of duty? Love? Did it really matter? This was impossible, he knew it. They were too different and yet too similar. It would never work. 

With a sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair. He was fooling himself. They both were. He never should have gotten involved. Never should have crossed that line. And now, here they were. Trapped. And for the life of him, Adam couldn't understand why.

As if hearing his thoughts, Davey turned on the stairs and looked at him. He ducked his head for a moment and placed his hands in his pockets. "You regret me, don’t you?" 

The words stung. "How could you even think that?" Even as the words fell from his lips, Adam knew Davey was right. He did regret this. Regret him. He never asked for this. He never wanted it. This was a job, nothing more. It was never supposed to mean anything more. But Davey, Davey had gotten under his skin, into his heart. He was stuck. Powerless. And that thought filled him with more fear than he dared to dwell on. "How could you think that?" 

"I sense it. You're angry because you got too close." His voice was soft, broken. "Maybe you should just go, stop protecting me. It would be much easier if the hit that’s over my head was carried through. Your life would be simpler and I could quit running," he said with more bitterness than intended.

Adam's eyes slipped closed, a shuddering breath falling from his lips. There it was, his out. His opportunity to wash his hands of the whole mess. To leave Davey behind. To live again. It was everything he'd longed for. Every desire he'd tried so hard to silence. But... "I can't."

"Why? You want to. I'm telling you to." 

"I...You wouldn't understand, David."

"Try me, Carson," he shot back. He paused for a moment. "How's this? I'll wear my heart on my sleeve and tell you. I am in love with you. I gave you every bit of me only for you to shut me out. I trusted you, built a friendship with you and let you be a part of me and at the first sign of your heart being touched, you run. You're a fucking coward. So how do you think I feel knowing I gave my heart to someone who doesn’t want it?" 

"I don't fucking need this!" he whispered, more to himself than to Davey. "I didn't ask for you to love me. I didn't ask a damned thing of you!" His blue eyes flashed with anger and pain and his voice dropped. "I didn't fucking ask for this." 

"Then GO. I didn’t fucking want you either, but you showed up. I wanted none of this. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and saw the wrong thing, and if they don’t kill me, loving you will." 

"Maybe I will then!" he hissed, stalking towards Davey. "Maybe you're right. Maybe you're full of shit. I don't fucking care anymore. It doesn't matter. It never mattered. I'm done, Marchand. I'm done." Adam's fists clench at his sides, his short nails dig into his palms. It's just painful enough to ground him. To keep him sane. To keep him from uttering the three words resting on the tip of his tongue. The three words that he knew would be the death of him. 

Davey looked at him, his brown eyes angry and burning into Adam's. "Say it," he demanded. "Tell me because I know it. I see it."

"There's nothing to say." he growled. "There's. Nothing. There."

Tears formed in Davey's eyes and he shut them quickly to stop them from falling. He’d been so sure that Adam was in love, that all he would have to do was ask and he would tell him. "Fine," he said with a broken voice as he turned up the stairs to his room.

Adam stared at his retreating form, feeling the tears burning in his eyes. It's better this way. It had to be. He'd gotten too close, risked too much. He couldn't protect Davey, not from Karn's men or the death threats. Not from himself. It wasn't safe. 

Sighing, Adam turned back to the window sill. He couldn't leave tonight. He couldn't leave Davey without any sort of defense, no matter how lax it was. He'd leave tomorrow, when Harris reported in. He'd leave this behind. Davey behind. Where he was safe.

Davey went into his room and slammed the door, leaning against it and finally letting his tears fly. He was loud, he knew that. In fact, Adam could probably hear him, but that didn’t matter now. He'd told him he was in love and it didn’t matter to him. What difference would tears make?

Adam jumped at the reverberation the slamming door made, cringing. It was better this way. Safer. For everyone. If Davey hated him it wouldn't hurt so much to leave. It wouldn't be so hard to walk away. Love won't save Davey, it would only get him killed. And for as much bravado as Adam showed, it would destroy him to have Davey's life, his blood on his hands. 

Davey fell asleep on the floor that night, his own tears staining his face. Damn Adam Carson for making him fall in love. He wished he'd been killed at the funeral. A shot in the head would hurt less than a thousand stabs to the heart. 

Adam hadn't moved from the window all night. He'd barely gotten any sleep at all. Even now, the warmth of the sun's rays did little to warm the numbness that had spread through him. Davey's sobs had lasted well into the night, and each one torn at his heart. He knew he was killing this beautiful man, just as surely as if he'd placed a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. He was a spineless bastard. The lowest of the low. For once in his life he'd had everything he never thought he'd have-love, trust, everything and he'd thrown in all away. It was better this way. Maybe if he said those words enough one day he'd believe them. 

Davey woke the following morning, stiff from the floor and broken hearted. He walked out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen to get something to eat, refusing to speak to Adam or look at him. His heart was shattered enough. He hurried by him, the smell of vanilla lingering in the room after he'd passed.

Adam heard the footsteps in the hall, heading towards the kitchen. He couldn't bring himself to turn from the window. To face Davey. He'd crumble if he did. And that would help no one. He had to be strong. Even if he was faking it. Even if it killed him.

Davey made himself a cup of tea and walked into the living room as he normally did, sitting on the couch and turning on the news. Still he ignored Adam, refusing to even look in his direction. If he wanted to pretend that nothing happed, that they hadn’t made love, Davey could be just as cold. 

Taking a deep breath, Adam pulled himself from his window. He couldn't stay there, not with Davey so near. Not after all that had happened. It was too soon. It would always be too soon.

Davey shut his eyes when he felt Adam pass the couch. His head was screaming for him to tell him to stop, to come to him. He missed his touch and the way he held him. He missed how safe he'd felt. He opened his eyes and cut them at Adam. 'Please look at me.' 

He could feel the dark eyes on him, burning into his back, and it took all his strength to keep from turning back. To keep from giving in. Mindlessly, he stumbled into the kitchen, heading for the small coffee pot. There was still about a cup left from the morning before. Blindly, Adam reached for a clean mug, pouring the cold liquid. He didn't even bother heating the coffee or adding a thing to it. It didn't matter, he couldn't taste it. It didn't matter. 

Frustrated, Davey got up and walked into the kitchen. Without a word he grabbed Adam's arm and jerked him around to look him in the eyes. He paused for a moment before leaning up and placing his mouth on his. 

Startled, Adam allowed himself to be violently jerked back. He didn't even flinch when he felt Davey's warm lips crash against his. Without conscious thought, Adam snaked his arms around Davey's waist, pulling him so their bodies were flush. He all bit moaned at the contact. This was warm. This was right. The slam of a car door pulled Adam violently back into reality. Jerking backwards, he tore from the room. God, what had he done?

Davey watched him leave, his jaw clenching and heart pounding. He'd kissed back. Why wouldn’t he let this happen? Growling in frustration he leaned on the counter, his head down. There were times where he absolutely hated being so vulnerable and this was one of those times. Once again he'd put his heart out there for it to be broken. He needed to let him go, but God, he was so addicted. 

"Morning Carson," Harris' gruff voice mumbled, breaking Adam from the catatonic state he'd fallen into. Mumbling a half hearted greeting, he moved back towards his room, pulling his tote from the closet shelf. He didn't have much here. Only the basics. Nothing more, nothing less. That was what this life required, what Adam had come to know. All he had.

Davey walked into the living room and watched as Adam gathered his things. He was supposed to come back that night, sharing shifts with Harris, but something told him he wasn’t coming back tonight. He blinked back tears and fought back the urge to beg. He wouldn’t beg.

The weight of the bag rested heavily in his hand, digging into his skin. This was it. He was really leaving. He wasn't coming back. Adam could feel Davey's eyes on him once more, feel the pain and the hopelessness radiating from him. A part of him wanted to drop his bag, pull Davey into his arms and never let him go. Had he been a weaker man he would have done just that. But he couldn't. They were no longer alone, there was too much at stake. 

Silently, he made his way from the house, towards his black truck, climbing in. Without a second glance, he put the truck in reverse and pulled from the driveway. One last time.


	2. Chapter Two

Davey watched the door to his apartment close and shut his eyes as he leaned against the door frame. Adam had left. Really left. He wasn’t coming back and now Davey was stuck with Harris. He looked at the tall officer and rolled his eyes before going up to his room. "I'll be in my cell." 

Shaking his head, Harris made his way into the kitchen. If "princess", as he'd come to call his charge, wanted to whine and mope about there was nothing he could do about it. Something had happened last night, that much Harris was sure of but whatever it was had nothing to do with him and he planned to keep it that way. He had a job to do, keep Marchand safe, anything beyond was none of his concern. He wasn't Carson, he had no desire to get to know Davey, he couldn’t care less. As long as he kept him alive.

Davey sat in the window seat and looked out over the playground at the children running around. So innocent, carefree. He wished he could go back to that. To where nothing mattered, but he couldn’t. He took a deep breath and pulled his legs to his chest and placed his head on them. _'Damn a broken heart._ ' 

 

 _Great, just great. No coffee. Perfect_. With a grunt, Harris sifted through the cabinet over the stove for the can of coffee he knew Carson kept there. It wasn't like Carson to not have a fresh pot of joe waiting. While the pot brewed, Harris went about his sweep of the perimeter. Nothing. There hadn't been any word, any threat on Davey's life for days now. And for that Harris was grateful. He could get used to quiet days.

A man dressed in a black business suit walked up to the door, lightly knocking on it with his leather clad hand. This would be simple. He cracked his knuckles and rolled his neck, knocking once more. 

The knocking startled Harris. No one was scheduled to show up today. This didn't feel right, not in the slightest. The knock sounded again. No, something definitely was not right. Pulling his gun from the hostler at his side, Harris made his way slightly to the door. 

Cole stood and waited for the door to open. To look at him you would think he were a family man, sharp features, nice blue eyes, and a friendly smile. However, the only family he knew was the family.

Without a word, Harris made his way to the door, leaning silently against the wall beside it. His heart pounded in his chest and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. So much for the peace and quiet he'd hoped for. 

Cautiously, he moved forward just enough to glance out the peep hole. Only one man, he thought. But that meant nothing, really. For all he knew there could be three or four others hanging back. Only one thought was present in his mind now. He had to get Marchand out alive. And quickly.

"Excuse me, is anyone there? My car broke down, my cell is dead, and I have to get my daughter to the dentist," Cole said mimicking the voice of a concerned father.

Harris' grip tightened on his gun. This man was confident, cocky even. Coming to the door in broad daylight. He was either very brave or incredibly stupid. Every nerve in his body, every ounce of his years of training told him that this man was certainly not the former. Backing away from the door, Harris moved silently down the hallway towards Davey's room. They didn't have much time. 

 

Davey kept his eyes closed in his folded arms and took a deep breath. Maybe if he called Adam he would feel better. _'No,_ ' he scolded, _'you will not become a woman.'_

 

Cole, frustrated, pulled a piece of metal from his pocket and quietly started to pick the lock. He'd watched as the shadow moved from the door and knew that he wasn’t dealing with just a dumb cop. However he'd come for a reason, and that reason had to go. 

The lock jiggled behind him. Shit. Shit. Shit. He didn't have much time. Neither of them did. No longer bothering with stealth, Harris sprinted towards Davey's room, barging in. "Marchand, up now. We have to move."

"What? Why?" Davey asked snapping his head up. 

Cole made his way into the apartment, pulling his silencer from his pocket. He crept towards the bedrooms, seeing a shadow standing just inside one of the doors. 

"Don't fucking question me, Marchand. We don't have time," Harris hissed, glaring at the man before him. "Get your ass in gear. You are not dying on my watch."

Davey stumbled from his sitting position and hurried towards him. He was scared and he didn’t feel that his life was safe with this man. He nervously slid his hand through his long tresses and grabbed his shoes, quickly putting them on.

Frustration flooded through Harris. They were wasting too much time. Time they didn't have. Why the hell wasn't Davey taking this more seriously? Did he want to fucking die? Harris squeezed the handle of his gun, the weapon weighing heavily in his hand. He was uneasy, for the first time in twenty three years he wasn't sure he'd make it through the day. And that fact terrified him. 

Cole stepped into the room, seeing Davey's head down tying his shoes and the cop facing away. Quickly he wrapped an arm around the officer's neck and pulled him close, shooting him in the back without a seconds thought. The sound of a light whistle was all that was heard but it was enough to cause Davey to look up, his dark eyes widening. 

Harris watched as Davey quickly pulled on his shoes, feeling his annoyance and unease growing steadily by the minute. Why wasn't he moving faster? 

A shiver slid down his spine. Cold dread poured through him. He wasn't going to make it home tomorrow. He wasn't going to make it home ever again. That was the last thought Harris processed before he felt the strong arms wrap around his neck. He would never make it home.

Davey stared at the man as he dropped Harris to the floor and backed up on the bed, eyes wide with fear. 

The warmth of Harris' blood trickled down the front of his shirt. It was the one thing he'd never gotten used to in this line of work. The blood. Shaking his head, Cole let Harris' body drop to the floor, the soft thud breaking the silence. One obstacle down. 

A cruel smile played on his features. The fear dancing in Davey's eyes was intoxicating. He could feel it rolling off of the trembling man in waves. Cocking his gun, he took a step forward, "Going somewhere?" 

Davey looked at the door and then at the man standing in front of it. By no means was Davey weak, but there was no way he could take the man in front of him. Not physically and especially not with the gun. "I won’t say anything. I won’t testify. I swear it. Please," he pleaded as he backed up further on the bed. 

Cole shook his head. "No, you see it doesn't work like that, David. You know too much. You've said too much." He took a step forward raising the gun, placing it against the Davey's temple. "Besides, I've looked forward to this for far too long now. Why rob me of my joy?"

He whimpered and shut his eyes. He was going to die just like this. His body shook harder than he knew it could, but he refused to cry from fear. He didn’t want it to die is way. A thousand thoughts raced through his head. He had to get away. He had to get out. Without thinking he turned quickly and pushed the man away, knocking him off balance and crawling towards the end of the bed. 

Cole shook his head, stalking towards Davey, shoving him hard onto the bed. "That wasn't very smart, David. Not very smart at all." His blue eyes locked on Davey's terrified dark ones, drinking in his fear. Violently, he flipped him over, bringing his fist roughly against Davey's cheek. 

Davey whimpered and groaned with the hit and licked the inside of his mouth tasting blood. He gathered all he could and spit it at his attacker, his eyes black with hate and laced with fear. 

Red tore through his vision. So that was how this bitch wanted to play. Another rough blow worked to calm his nerves. "Now, now, David. You don't want to make me angry. I'd hate to kill you too quickly. I've been waiting for this moment for too long now."

Davey struggled under him. "Do it. Go on. Get rid of me. I don’t care anymore," he yelled hoping that reverse psychology would work and buy him some time. Davey stared at him defiantly, his breath ragged underneath him.

Cole smirked. Davey was a smart man. Much smarter than he'd given him credit for. And he wouldn't make that mistake again. "You don't want me to kill you. I can see it in your eyes." He traced the muzzle of the gun along Davey's cheek, tapping it against his temple once more. "They give you away."

Davey flinched and shut his eyes, tears rolling down the side of his face. Adam's face was the first thing he saw when he shut his eyes. If he was going to die, he was leaving things unfinished with him. "Please," he whispered. 

"Please what?" He replied, voice even. He continued to tap the muzzle against Davey's temple, the tears sliding down his cheeks urging him on. The way they all begged for it in the end, begged for death never failed to bring forth a rush of power in him. But it was too soon. No, he couldn't kill him now. He had to savor it.

"EITHER WAY JUST FUCKING DO SOMETHING," he screamed with the last bit of defiance he had. He placed his hand on the gun and on Cole's finger. "Do it." He prayed he wasn’t wrong on judging this man's character. And if he wasn’t, he was betting that he would keep him alive to have him beg more. His ego seemed to need it.

"David. David. David. That's much too simple a death for you. Much too simple." Cole moved the gun once more, pulling Davey's hand from it. Slowly, he traced the muzzle along Davey's parted lips, noting the tremble running through him. "And I have plans for you." 

Davey looked at him, not fond of where the gun was and what image it put in his head. He'd be damned if he was going to let this man touch him. "What plans?" He asked raising his chin to get the gun away from his lips. 

Cole noted the flash of emotion that flitted through Davey's eyes. He smiled, the gun, what he was doing with it was getting to Davey. And in a way he hadn't planned. "Oh no, David. Not that way, though I'm sure you wouldn't mind. Would you?" He pushed the gun farther into Davey's mouth. 

He moaned and clenched his eyes shut. His long lashes were wet with tears as his body shook. "Fuck you," he screamed, his sound muffled by the intrusion in his mouth. 

Cole chuckled, shaking his head once more. "Oh no, David." He pushed the gun in farther. "I plan on making you scream, but not in that way. No, we'll do this on my terms."

Davey thought he would be sick. The gun in his mouth was not only terrifying but causing his gag reflex to react. He choked once, arching his body. With terrified eyes he stared up at Cole pleading for him to let him go, figuring it was pointless. 

The disgust and fear in Davey's eyes captivated him. The way they pleaded with him for his life. So desperate, so hopeless. Davey was helpless beneath him. Yes, he would savor this. Savor his death. Something told him this was one kill he wouldn't forget.

Davey moved his head to the side to slide the gun out and he kept his face turned as much as possible to keep it away. He closed his eyes praying if they stayed closed long enough the man on top of him would go away and this would be a dream.

He watched the gun slip from Davey's lips as he turned away from him. Watched as he gave up. Davey was at his mercy now. But it wasn't enough. No, it was far less fun to kill a man who'd simply given up. They had to fight him. They needed to struggle, up until the very end.

Davey took a deep breath. "If you're gonna do this, not my face," he pleaded quietly.

Cole paused for a brief moment, tracing the gun along Davey's face once more. Slowly, teasingly. "It is a lovely face," he paused, brushing the gun over his lips once more, “I can see why you wouldn't want it marred. Don't worry. I want everyone to know just who you are when they find your body, David."

"It's not for vanity purposes. It's for my mother." 

He traced the gun over Davey's forehead, down his temple, brushing a lock of his hair behind his ear. "Just for your mother, David?" Cole chuckled, "What about your lover?"

Davey turned to glare at him. The ice in his expression clearer than the fear was. 

Cole smiled, "Hit a nerve did I?" 

"I don’t have a lover." His thoughts going back to Adam and the feeling of him inside and how complete he felt. His body shivered under Cole at the thought.

He watched the emotions on Davey's face, felt him shiver beneath him. "Oh, I do believe you're lying to me." Cole smiled, pressing Davey farther onto the bed. "I know you are." He pauses again, placing the gun back on Davey's temple, "Adam was it? Adam Carson?"

"Get the fuck away from me. You don’t know shit about that," he said sternly, his voice filled with every emotion possible. He placed his hands around Cole's wrist to try and pry it from his temple, fighting just a bit because of Adam.

Cole smiled. He'd hit a nerve with that one. And a powerful one at that. "I know plenty, David. I know he left you. And I know he's not coming back. I watched him leave. I've been watching all night."

Davey's eyes widened. _'All night?'_ His eyes panicked at the thought of how much this man had seen. He knew Davey was gay and that wasn’t something he just broadcasted to the world. He and Adam slept together last night. He shivered at the thought of an intimate moment like that being spied upon. "All night?"

He watched the color drain from Davey's face. The panic rise in his eyes. "Yes, all night," he echoed. "You gave him everything didn't you? Your heart," he paused once again, "Your body. And he threw in back in your face."

Tears welled up in Davey's eyes and he quickly shut them. "Stop it." 

"Why, David? It's the truth. He didn't want you. He used you. And he won't miss you."

"He did not," he whispered, his voice broken echoing the feeling in his heart. "You don’t know anything."

"Oh I know more than you think, David."

What could he possibly know besides the fact that he and Adam had made love? His eyes, still full of tears, challenged him to explain. "He couldn’t touch me the way he did if there wasn’t feelings involved." 

Cole shook his head, "Oh David. You really are naive. So painfully naive." 

Davey pushed at him. "Get off me." 

Cole only pushed him farther into the bed, pinning him against the mattress. "I thought we went over this, David. I will put a bullet through that pretty face of yours."

Davey bucked up against him, angry more than anything that what he had with Adam was challenged. His eyes were spiteful and his entire demeanor had changed. A sore spot had been hit and the man above him knew it. 

"The truth hurts doesn't it, David?" he hissed.

He continued to fight him, wanting more than anything to knock the hell out of him for what he said. The gun didn’t matter now. His temper was coming out full swing and he was probably going to get killed for it. 

"Feisty, aren't we? That must be why he fucked you." He thrived off of Davey's anger. He loved it. "I'm going to enjoy killing you, David."

Davey drew back and hit him. "That is NOT why he fucked me!" 

Cole snapped back as red tore through his vision. "You little bitch!" Violently, he slammed the butt of the gun against the side of Davey's head. The crack of metal to bone echoed throughout the room.

He whimpered, his vision going blurry. He could feel the trickle of blood in his hair, sliding down his scalp and that’s all he remembered before things went black.

Cole stared at the motionless body beneath him. The blow was enough to knock him unconscious but not kill him. And for that he was grateful. Cole would take his time with him. Torture him. No one messed with the Karn family and hoped to live. No one messed with him.


	3. Chapter Three

Adam gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles white. Hundreds of thoughts swam through his mind. Davey was right, he was a fucking coward. He ran because he couldn't handle it. He had gotten way too close. It was stupid of him, caring the way he did. He should have known better, after everything that had happened, he should have known better.

Captain Schultz's voice startled him out of his thoughts. "Carson? Carson, come in. We need you back at the Marchand residence, now." 

Panic flooded through him. Oh God. Davey. Davey was hurt. Every fiber of his being screamed it. He left and now Davey was hurt. Tears burned in his eyes, blurring his vision. Violently, he jerked the wheel, spinning the car into the opposing lane, cutting off three cars in the process. He hardly even noticed doing so. Only one thought resounded in his head, he had to get back, he never should have left. Why the fuck did he leave? 

Police swarmed the front of the apartment complex. A neighbor had spotted a man messing with the lock and called police. However, when they got there, Davey was gone and Harris was lying in a pool of his own blood on the bedroom floor

Adam didn't even bother shutting off the truck as he pulled into the parking lot. Without so much as a word, he flashed his badge at the officer guarding the door of Davey's apartment before shoving past him violently. Dread coiled in his stomach. 

The voices swirling around him drowned out the second he rounded the corner to the bedroom. Harris looked so doll like laying there, his eyes open, staring blankly. Adam wanted to be ill. Harris was dead. He didn't know if he could handle walking into that room. Not when he knew Davey's body would be spread across the bed. Not when all of this was his fault.

Schultz walked up to Adam. "Harris is dead and Marchand is gone. There is no body, but there is blood on the bed. I have forensics testing it now to see if its his. This had to have happened right after your shift change." The man looked around. "There doesn’t appear to be too much of a struggle. Maybe Marchand didn’t fight. It surprises me because he seems so fiery." 

Schultz's words struck Adam, sending a shiver of dread through him. Davey didn't fight back, didn't struggle. He'd given in. This was his fault. All of it. He never should have left. He never should have lied. And now his partner was dead and the man he loved most likely suffered the same fate. Just like Lily. _Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Not again. Please God not again._

Schultz put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "You okay? We don’t know for sure that he's dead. If he isn’t though, the game has changed. We did find the blood on the bed... and the bed clothes were ruffled so I can't guarantee that these psychos aren’t going to rape him or something before they kill him. Worst form of torture is to take away any and all security," he stated. "I don’t think he's dead. I think they are going to toy with us a bit. This was a high profile case and to know that the LAPD fucked up with protecting a witness is a message they may want to send out."

Adam hardly heard a word Schultz said, numbly walking towards the bed, his eyes locking on the blood staining the white sheets. Davey's blood. The sheets, the blood. No. Please God no. "Rape?" The word tumbled from his lips before he could stop it. Davey...raped. He couldn't process it.

"It’s possible," Schultz said. "They wanted him dead. They had their opportunity. Why not take it?" He walked over to the bed. "I don’t think he has been, but that's what we could possibly be dealing with. If we find a body, there is a good chance sexual activity will be present." 

This was his fault. Everything. He'd let this happen. He was responsible. With a shuddering breath, Adam clenched his eyes shut, trying in vain to halt the tears that threatened to spill. Davey's face danced across his mind. His smile, his glare, the way his face contorted in pleasure as Adam thrust inside of him, the pain and anger shining in his eyes as they fought. The hopelessness. Everything. "This is my fault."

Schultz looked at him. "It’s not. You did your duty, and Harris did his. They were caught off guard." 

"I shouldn't have left. I should have seen this coming. It was too fucking quiet! I should have known! And now Harris is dead. He's fucking dead! And Davey...I killed them. I killed them both! I should have fucking known!"

"Carson!" Schultz shouted sternly. The man placed his chubby hands on both of Adam's shoulders. "You are the best man I have, but if you are too close to this," he paused look at him, "for whatever reason, I will take you off this case. Got it?"

Adam jerked back, the words sinking in. Off the case. No, that couldn't happen. He couldn't fail Davey, not again. "I understand sir." Taking a deep breath, he turned towards the door, "Simmons! Rodgers! I want this place completely turned apart. The bastard had to leave some trace of himself and we are going to find it." The two officers started blankly at Adam, stunned by his complete change in demeanor. "NOW!"

*-*-*-*-*

Davey woke up in a dark room with the headache from hell. He tried to open his mouth, but when he did he felt the pull of tape over it. His hands were bound over his head to a headboard and the blood was already draining from his hands because of the angle. He looked around, trying his best to get his sight adjusted. He had no idea if he was alone or not.

Cole smirked. Good, Marchand was awake. Now the fun could begin. "Welcome back, David." His voice was cool, collected, as he walked towards the bed. The confusion and fear in Davey's eyes sent a ripple of lust and power through him. "There's no need to struggle....Not yet anyway."

Davey wanted to talk, wanted to question. Why the hell wasn’t he dead? He should be dead. That's what they wanted. His eyes locked on the man in front of him, realizing that this was his captor and he had no clue who he was. He was going to have God only knows what done to him by a complete stranger. As if the acts alone weren’t enough.

"I will kill you, David. Don't you worry your pretty little head about that," Cole breathed, making his way to the side of the bed, eyes never leaving his face. Lightly, he traced his finger along Davey's jaw. "But not yet." Cole's smile grew as he watched the horror shining in Davey's eyes. Yes, he would enjoy this.

Davey jerked his head away. "Don’t touch me," he screamed, muffled through the tape. His entire body shook with fear. Had he already been raped? He didn’t feel like he had, but then again, he hadn't moved. 

Cole laughed, his blue eyes cold. "You are in no position to be making demands, David." His fingers continued their trail across Davey's face. The trembled that passed through Davey's body urged him on. "I can do whatever I want to you. And I will. You'll be begging me for death before long."

Davey glared at him. His skin crawled with each touch and he tried to wiggle away, whimpering from the rope pulling on his tired hands.

Roughly, Cole brought his hand across Davey's face. The sting of skin against skin was intoxicating. "Struggle all you want, David." His tucked a lock of Davey's hair behind his ear, allowing his fingers to linger a few moments. "You are mine now."

Davey mumbled for the gag to be removed. He needed to talk, wanted to ask questions. With his eyes he pleaded hoping that his captor would listen and grant him his silent request. His face stung from the blow but the need for answers overshadowed the pain.

Cole smirked, knowing just what Davey wanted. His fingers traced along the edge of the tape, teasing the loose fibers. "You want to speak, David? You want to know why I didn't kill you in the apartment?" He shook his head, "Tsk. Tsk. You should know better. If Karn simply wanted you dead, he wouldn't have hired me."

His eyes widened. What the hell was that supposed to mean? He shut his eyes and lifted his head, pushing for him to remove the tape. 

A cold laugh fell from his lips. "You need to be taught a lesson, David." Roughly, Cole yanked the tape from Davey's mouth, delighting in the whimper of pain falling from his lips. 

Davey had clenched his jaw and tried his best to not let out a whimper, but failed miserably. Tears stung his eyes from the pain and he turned his head. "What are you going to do to me?"

Cole traced under Davey's eyes, brushing at the tears forming in them. His touch was surprisingly gentle, but the look in his eyes told a different tale. "Take everything from you."

Davey locked eyes with him, already broken from everything he's been through... the murder, hiding, watching Harris be killed, and...losing Adam. "There is nothing left." 

"There is always something, David,” he whispered, "And I will enjoy breaking you."

"You are a sick son of a bitch. Just get it over with and kill me. Rape me, beat me, whatever, just don’t fucking prolong it anymore." 

Cole shook his head, "No, David. There is still a vital piece of this equation missing. When it arrives, I promise you, you'll get your wish."

Davey looks at him, remembering everything that was said at the apartment. He knew things. He knew personal things. "Adam," he whispered. 

"Good boy."

"Why? And who the fuck are you?" 

"Why?" Cole echoed, his eyes locking on Davey's face. "Because it will kill you to see the pain in his eyes."

Davey felt his eyes tear up and clenched his them shut. A thousand thoughts ran through his head at once. "You'll never get him here alone and he's not going to let you touch me." 

"He will come, David. How could he refuse such an invitation?" 

Davey stared at him, his face close to his captor. "Do I get a name for the man who is planning on taking everything from me?"

"What's in a name, anyway, David? What will knowing my name change?" Cole asked, shaking his head. 

"Well, if a name isn’t important, why won’t you tell me? It’s just a name, right?" Davey brought his head up from the pillow to glare defiantly at him. 

"And if it's only a name then why do you wish to know it?" 

"I think you owe it to me. If you're planning on," he paused and took a deep breath. "If you're planning on fucking me, I want to know." 

"You really do think too much of yourself."

Davey looked at him, a bit of hope in his eyes. Maybe his body wouldn’t be taken. Maybe some shred of dignity would stay intact. 

"I wouldn't call it fucking. There would have to be lust involved for that. No, David, I plan on breaking you." 

Fear spread through over his face. Maybe if he twisted his hands enough he could slit his own wrist with the ropes. Anything would have to be better than having someone force themselves upon you. 

Cole smirked, shaking his head "I highly doubt you could lose enough blood to end your life that way. But be my guest." He turned, making his way back towards the stairs. 

"God, I fucking hate you," Davey screamed at him in frustration, arching off the bed. "Untie my hands, they hurt."

He continued on his path, not bothering to turn back towards Davey. "Enjoy the pain. It will the last thing you feel."

A loud scream echoed throughout the room as it bored from Davey's mouth. He had to get away from this man. He was going to go nuts like this. He was scared, unsure and angry. With every bit of emotion in him, he screamed Adam's name praying that somewhere out there he could hear it.


	4. Chapter Four

Adam's team of officers searched the apartment from top to bottom. A younger officer searched the closet, every single spot he could find. He checked the shoe boxes, the shelves and every pocket in there. It was when he got to a long black coat that he pulled out a yellow envelope with Adam's name on it. _For A. Carson's eyes only_. The officer looked up. "Adam?"

Startled, Adam shot his glance towards the officer who'd called his name. Stalking towards him, Adam's eyes fell upon the envelope clutched in the man's hand. "Give here, Hanson," he barked, snatching the envelope. 

Wordlessly, Adam tore the seal bracing himself for what lay inside. His expertise told him it could be anything. He took a deep breath, emptying the contents of the envelope on a nearby desk. The stark images staring back at him froze his blood. Oh God.

Davey lay on the bed, completely unconscious. His shirt was gone, exposing his pale, yet artful skin and a trickle of blood ran down the side of his face. A large bruise had already started to form on the side of his face and his lip was bleeding a bit. There was no sign of who took the photo, but there was no doubt who was behind it. 

Adam felt the blood drain from his face, dread coiling in his stomach. He'd seen countless dead bodies; friends and colleagues battered and bruised beyond recognition, but this...His world felt as though it had spun violently out of his control. With shaky hands, he picked up one of the snapshots, feeling the bile rise in his throat. Flipping it over, his eyes zeroed in on the neat print. A phone number. Adam didn't need more than a moment’s pause to deduce what it meant. The bastard wanted to be contacted. 

"Carson, you okay?" Schultz asked immediately noticing his colorless expression.

Brushing past his superior without even a word, Adam hurried from the room, towards the back fire escape. Their place. The picture still clutched in his hand, Adam pulled his phone from his pocket flipping it open. Violently, he punched the number in, placing the phone to his ear. In the back of his mind he knew this was stupid. Something only a rookie would do and in any other situation he would have cut off his right arm rather than do something so foolish. But this was Davey. His Davey. He failed him once, he wouldn't do it again.

 

Cole felt the phone vibrate on his hip and he looked over at Davey and grinned. "Right on time," he said with a devious smirk. He picked up the phone, flipping it open. "Carson, how are you?"

"Listen here you cock-sucking son of a bitch," he hissed.

"Now, now, let’s not start things off this way," he said walking over to Davey and picking up the switchblade on the dresser by the bed. The tape had already been replaced on his mouth and Cole smirked down at him. "I have something you want and pissing me of will only make things worse for him."

The blood rushed from Adam's face once more. Davey. Swallowing thickly, he struggled to push down his anger. "What do you want?"

Lightly he placed the blade over Davey's heart, smiling. "I want you to play a game with me." 

Davey's eyes widened unsure of what was going on in the head of his captor. He hadn’t hurt him as of yet with the exception of the blow the head, but something was different now and it was a feeling that terrified him even more than he already was.

Adam bit back the violent angry words sitting on the tip of his tongue. Losing his temper now would only place Davey in more danger. "What kind of a game?"

"You consider yourself to be a strong man, Carson?"

"Yes," he responded, heart pounding. What the hell was he up to?

"Physically I'm sure, but what about emotionally. I mean can you handle stress?" 

"I was a marine for six years. If that isn't stress, I don't know what is."

With a little more pressure Cole slid the knife blade over Davey's chest, cutting him just enough to sting and make him scream out, his cries muffled from the tape. His body arched violently off the bed and he locked his dark eyes with the cold one's staring back at him. "How about now?" 

The muffled cry, tore at Adam's heart. The bastard was hurting him, fucking with both of them. "You are a sick bastard. Do you know that?"

Cole chuckled. "I haven’t even started yet. Kinda reminds you of someone doesn’t it? You got that same helpless feeling with Davey as you did with Lily?" 

"You leave her out of this," Adam threatened, voice low and cold.

"Oh but she has everything to do with this. I got her too, you know. Imagine my surprise when I saw the cold as ice cop making love to the one he was to protect last night. You gave away your vulnerability right there," Cole said as he pulled the knife away. "Now tell me, was his mouth as talented as it looked or is that something I am going to have to find out on my own?"

Adam froze for a moment. He had...seen them? The very thought made him sick to his stomach. "You get your rocks off watching other people's intimate moments? You really are sick," he hissed. Adam's mind reeled. The bastard knew about them. And Lily, pain shot through him. Why did he have to drag her into this?

Cole sat on the bed next to Davey, sliding his hand over his chest. "He's really beautiful, Adam. Think he'll scream like she did? She did scream, Adam. But she was the price you had to pay for killing Karn's father. She was your weakness, and imagine our surprise to find out we kill two birds with one stone when you let David become your newest one." Cole leaned down and licked the side of his face, pulling a whimper from the bound man. "He tastes good." 

"You so much as touch him and I'll gut you! Do you fucking hear me?" Rage swarmed through him. Lily's murderer had never been caught. Her death brushed aside. But he'd never forgotten, never stopped hunting. She'd been ripped from him, taking his heart with her. He'd been dead inside. Until Davey. No, he wasn't going to lose him too. 

"I don’t think you are in any position to threaten me. Besides you left him, didn’t you? Left him and shunned him. Does he know why you are so scared?" Cole taunted him. "He does now." Cole slid his hand down Davey's stomach and between his thighs, cupping him harshly and pulling another loud cry from him. 

Instinctively, Adam's hand reached for his gun, squeezing the handle roughly. "You don't know the first fucking thing about it."

"I know a lot more than you think. You know, I could kill him now with you on the phone, make it very painful." 

Davey squealed in fear, his eyes widening with fright. He screamed Adam's name through the tape only to have it followed by a harsh slap to the face. 

"Quiet!" Cole yelled at him. 

"If you were going to kill him, you would have done it already," he challenged, voice far more confident than he felt. With each pained cry, a little more of his resolve crumbled. Please, God, he begged, don't take him from me too.

Cole sensed a bit of fear in his voice and he placed the knife at Davey's throat and jerked the tape from his mouth. "Tell him, David. Where is my knife?" 

Davey panicked. "Adam! Please..." 

Cole pressed the blade hard enough to pierce the skin of his neck, but not to do damage, though it did sting. Davey screamed fearing the worst.

"My neck," Davey screamed. "It’s at my neck."

"You fucking bastard," he hissed, his anger getting the better of him once more. This couldn't be happening. "You harm him and I swear to God I will kill you."

Cole sighed. "Christ, why do you make me do these things?" He said pressing it a little more.  
Davey whimpered, his body shaking in fear. The cold of the blade stung against the wound that was just placed there and the pressing only made it deeper. "Adam, please, just listen." 

Davey's plea silenced the protests threatening to spill from his lips. "What do you want from me?"

"Good boy," Cole hissed. "I want you here. I want you to watch what I do. I want to make sure that his death is replayed in your head over and over. If you bring anyone with you, I slice him from abdomen to heart before you even get in the door, got it?" 

Adam ran his fingers through his short hair, his mind buzzing with thought. The man was serious and he was crazy. A deadly combination. "Where? When?"

Cole smiled at Davey. He loved this, got off on it. He had two frightened men scared of his every move and it felt like the best kind of high. He rattled off the address and then once again warned Adam of bringing anyone with him. "He's pretty outside, Adam, but he won’t be pretty when you can see all of him, and you will if you're not alone." 

"You'll get your fucking wish, just tell me where." Absently, his mind wandered through just what he could do. How he could fill Schultz in. Even in his panicked state, Adam knew he was in over his head. 

"So preoccupied with wondering how to get your fat captain involved that you don’t even pay attention to the address. One last time, Carson." Once again he spat out the address, which wasn’t very far from where they were. He got up from the bed and walked over to the window, picking up the binoculars there and looked out. He could see Adam from where they were. "And take your hand off your gun... you can’t shoot me from where you are." 

Adam's grip loosened on his weapon, his eyes darting around the area. The man could see him. He was close. Panic flooded through him. "I'm coming," he hissed, flipping the phone shut. "I'm coming, Davey."

Cole smiled cruelly, dropping the phone onto the bed. "Looks like your lover's coming after all," he paused and chuckled to himself, "He has an interesting choice of words, David."

Davey cut his eyes towards him. He didn’t ask because he was sure he would be told anyway. Tears ran down his cheeks as a small trail of blood slid down his neck from the cut. He swallowed hard and waited. 

Tracing his finger along the wound, Cole smiled at Davey, "Red suits you. I wonder if he'll think so as well."

Davey turned his head away from him. "Leave me alone," he pleaded.

A sharp crack filled the room, "Now, David, you know better than to do that." The pain in Cole's hand felt wonderful. Roughly, he took Davey's chin in his hand forcing Davey to look him in the eyes. "I'd hate to have to mar you any more before Adam arrives. I'm sure he'd want to see the show."

Davey spat at him, not caring at this moment what happened to him. Either way this man was going to kill him, so he wanted to put up the best front he could. 

Cole wiped the spit from his cheek, his eyes narrowing. "You try my patience, David." 

"Go to Hell." 

"Pithy retort. I'm sure you could come up with far better." His grip tightened on the knife in his left hand, twirling it. 

Davey eyed the blade and then locked his eyes again with the man holding it. His eyes turned down, fear getting the best of him. No sounds came out of his mouth. This man was winning, completely breaking his will.

"What, David? No comeback? Where's that fire? I know you have it in you. I saw the way you clawed at Adam last night."

Davey cringed. The thought of this man watching him make love to Adam made him sick at his stomach. It was private, personal, something that no one had the right to be a part of other than the two of them. "I hate you."

Cole traced the blade along Davey's cheek, pressing firmly enough to draw a thin line of blood. "And the way he responded," he paused twirling a lock of Davey's hair around the fingers of his free hand and yanking roughly. "You loved it when he did that, didn't you David? You loved that he was rough with you."

Davey gasped, hating that his body betrayed him by letting it feel good. Inside he was trembling, scared, and he didn’t want this man to have any encouragement to touch him further. He shut his eyes tightly and prayed that he would just be let go. 

His eyes roamed Davey's body, noting the way he responded to the harsh tug. "Yes, you do love that, don't you? Love being over powered, being taken. I wonder how Adam would feel if he saw you like this?"

"It does nothing for me," he lied.

Cole shook his head, yanking Davey's hair once more. "Your body's telling a different story."

He gasped and almost moaned. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want this man to touch him. "Get away from me," he said shifting uncomfortably as much as he could. 

"I can't do that, David. I have far too much in store for you."

Davey pulled his head away the best he could, wanting his hair out of this man's hands. "You won’t get a single scream from me." 

Cole merely chuckled, tightening his grip on Davey's hair. "So brave," he teased, tracing the knife along Davey's throat once more, "I wonder how long you can keep up the ghost."

"What are you going to do to me?"

Leaning down, Cole took Davey's earlobe between his teeth, his hot breath tickling the side of Davey's neck, "Whatever I want."

He whimpered and arched his neck, panting a bit from fear. "And you're prolonging this because of a vendetta against Adam?" 

Cole chuckled, "No, David. He's just a pawn in all of this. But I will take great pleasure in watching him suffer." 

Davey turned to bite at him, his face still much to close for his comfort, fire shooting through his eyes. The longer he was held like this the angrier he was getting. He was scared, yes, but his temper was being toyed with as well. 

"Temper, temper," he chided, yanking on Davey's hair once again. "But it is wonderful to see that fire back. I do hope Adam gets to see it one last time."

Davey whimpered louder from the tug and closed his eyes, his body reacting more than he wanted and he prayed it was something that went unnoticed. He opened his eyes and focused back on the man laying over him, breathing hard. 

A cruel smile played on Cole's lips. The way Davey responded physically sent a thrill down his spine, as did his fear. "Looks like someone is enjoying this, David."

Davey looked down ashamed. He wasn’t, but fuck if his body didn’t say otherwise.

Running the blade along Davey's cheek once more, Cole released his hair, turning towards the door. "I'll be back, David. And then our fun will really begin."

Davey closed his eyes and thought back to when this began. Had he just listened to his gut and not gone through the back alley to get home, he wouldn’t be in this spot now. He would have never seen anything, never been a threat to a crime lord, and he would have never had his heart broken. All of this because he wanted a shorter way home. The long way was looking really good right about now.


	5. Chapter Five

The night was dark and cold. Davey had just gotten off work and wanted nothing more than to get home, get under his warm blankets and sleep. His apartment wasn't that far from his job, but in this night air it may as well been a thousand miles. Quickly he turned down the dark alley that provided the shortest route to his home, hearing his bed calling him with each step he took. He turned a second corner, taking him deeper into the alley and paused when he saw two men standing over another one with a gun to his head. Quickly, he hid behind the wall and peeked around. 

"You've tried my patience one too many times, Evans. Did you really think I wouldn't catch on? Ten thousand dollars is quite a large sum of money," his smooth voice carried through the night, cold and dead even. Silver light from the street lamp poured across the darkened alley, casting an eery glow on his form, glinting off the metal of the gun he held pressed against Evans' head. 

"I didn't mean to Mr. Karn...I just...My mother, she's sick...I needed the money...I had bills...I was going to pay you back. Honest!" the man on his knees pleaded, tears streaming down his face. "Please, God. Please. I didn't mean to...I would..." His pleas were cut short by a muffled pop. Smoke bellowed from the muzzle of the gun. 

Davey gasped and fell backwards against the wall, his foot kicking the crates behind him. "Shit!" He whispered.

Karn's head snapped up, eyes locking on the far edge of a nearby building. Someone was there. "Matthews, Wells," he hissed, pointing in the direction of the crash. Both men nodded before sprinting towards the building, guns cocked and at their sides.

Davey backed up and started to run down the alley back towards the street. His heart was in his throat and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe, but he had to get out of there. 

Matthews' raised his weapon, taking aim at the fleeing man's back. Without so much as a warning, he fired. The shot was high, ricocheting off of another nearby building. He speed off faster after Davey, noting Wells had made a move to head him off at the end of the alley.

Davey squealed at the sound of the gun shot and ducked, turning right to head out of the alley. He could see the street. Just a little further and he would be fine.

Roughly, Wells locked his arms around Davey’s waist, quickly dropping him to the ground. A few well placed hits ceased his struggling. "Got him," he yelled, looking back towards Matthews.

Davey whimpered as he fell to the ground, looking up at the men terrified. "I didn’t see anything." 

Wells slammed his fist into the man's face once more. "Shut up and start talking."

He whimpered again and closed his eyes. "I swear, just let me go. Please." 

"You see, I can't let him to that, son," Karn began, stepping from the alley. "You saw something you had no business seeing. I can't have any loose ends."

“I didn’t see anything. I swear. I have no idea. I just heard a shot, that’s all." 

"One shot too many." He paused, glancing at Matthews. "Dispose of this...problem. And the other one as well." After a curt nod, he turned, heading for his car. 

Davey looked up at the two men. "I... please." 

Wells yanked Davey to his feet, dragging him back into the alley. He nodded at Matthews who then disappeared farther down the darkened back street towards Evans body. Slamming Davey roughly against the brick wall, Wells pressed his gun against Davey's temple. 

With all the courage he could muster, Davey kicked at the shin of the man holding the gun and then crawled backwards to get up. He ran as hard as he could to get out of the other end of the alley. 

Pain radiated up Wells' leg, disorienting him enough to drop his weapon. By the time he'd gathered his senses enough to look up, Davey had fled. "Mother fucker!" he hissed. He'd let the man slip away. Karn would not take too kindly to that and Wells knew his days were numbered.

Davey ran as fast as he could to the police station, bursting in with tears streaming down his face. "There's a man... dead... alley."

Adam paced back in forth in the waiting room of the police station. He'd been waiting for an audience with the police chief for thirty minutes now. _Stupid fucking prick_ , he thought, shoving his hands through his dishelved hair. All he needed was the man's cooperation, his patience. They were so close to finally nailing Karn. 

The panicked cry from behind him snapped Adam back into reality. "Whoa, whoa. Slow down, what happened?" he heard an officer question, standing from behind her desk.

Panting and crying, Davey looked over at Adam. "A man... they just shot a man in the alley." 

Davey's words piqued Adam's interest. Standing before him, Adam looked Davey directing in the eyes, "Who shot this man? Calm down and tell me exactly what happened?"

"I..." He paused trying desperately trying to remember the name. It was on the tip of his tongue. With a sudden jolt of enlightenment his head shot up. "Karn!" 

"Karn?" Adam repeated slowly. This was it, the break they needed. _Thank God_. 

"Carson!" Davis' voiced bellowed. The police chief stormed towards the two men, annoyance present in his grey eyes. "This isn't any of your business. You don't have jurisdiction here."

"This is an FBI matter, Davis. So shut your mouth and get me a damned phone."

Davey glanced at the man standing in front of him. His blue eyes were so dark and determined that he wondered exactly what he'd stumbled upon in that alley. "They saw me. They tried to kill me." 

Adam turned his attention back towards Davey, taking in the fear and panic in his dark eyes. "And they won't stop," he responded curtly. Davey had gotten away this time, how Adam didn't quite understand, but he doubted he would do so again. No one ever did. 

Davey looked at him, panic filled his eyes. "I... what am I supposed to do?"

"Help us put him away."

With curious eyes, he looks at the officer in front of him. "Who is he?"

Adam lead Davey towards a free desk, talking a seat behind it. He pulled his messenger bag from his shoulder, dropped it onto the desk, pulling out 3 photos from a thick file wordlessly handing the pictures to Davey. "Richard Karn. He's killed these men and dozens more. He won't hesitate to kill you."

Davey looked at the pictures of the bodies and his stomach immediately felt sick. "Oh... oh God." He shot up and turned, running to the nearest bathroom. He hit his knees inside of one of the stalls, throwing up. All he'd wanted was a quicker way home and now he was being hunted by a mad gun man. 

Adam watched the color drain from Davey's face, the horror shoot through his eyes. He wasn't surprised when Davey took off towards the bathroom. Those pictures would horrify even the strongest of people. Pushing himself to his feet, Adam made his way to the bathroom as well. 

Davey gagged and wretched over the toilet until he couldn’t do so anymore. He took a few deep breaths and hung his head. Footsteps came up behind him and he figured them to belong to the cop that he was just talking to. "They're gonna kill me, aren’t they?"

"Most likely," Adam answered. He wouldn't sugar coat things. Karn was cold blooded, ruthless. The man before him barely stood a chance.

"What am I supposed to do? I don’t want to die this way. Can’t you guys protect me or something?" 

Adam kneeled behind Davey, "If you testify against him, help us put him away, we will do everything in our power to keep you alive. You don't testify, I'm sorry, but you are on your own."

Davey stared at him. "So I have to put myself out there to stay alive?"

"Yes," he answered plainly, pushing himself back to his feet. "You help us, we help you."

"That's shitty."

Adam paused, glaring at the man, "That's life, whether you like it or not."

Davey stood up. "You are supposed to serve and protect always, and you’re telling me now that the only way you will is if I testify. I just want to forget everything." 

"We don't have the man power to protect everyone," Adam responded curtly, his eyes narrowing, "This is real life, it's not fair and it's not pretty. You want to forget this happened, it's your call. Do whatever lets you sleep at night." 

Davey looked down. He couldn’t let Karn and his men get away with this. "I'll help." 

Adam nodded, "Good. Follow me."

Davey followed him, terrified. What had he gotten himself into? He was being hunted now. All he'd done was take a short cut. 

Leading him back into the main part of the station, Adam made his way towards the desk he'd vacated a few minutes earlier. Yanking the phone to his ear, he dialed his superior's extension, briefing him on the situation at hand. Grabbing his bag, he turned to face Davey once again. 

"What now?" 

"You come with me to one of the interrogation rooms and you tell me everything you saw. Every sight, every sound, every name. Everything."

Davey nodded and followed Adam, his head down. 

The walk down the brightly lit hallway was uncomfortably silent. The man behind him was terrified and confused, that much Adam knew for certain. But he had to pull himself together. If Davey wanted to live he had to. Roughly, he shoved the door of the nearest room open, flipping the light switch before letting Davey inside. When the door closed, he turned to face him once again. "Talk."

"You aren’t very compassionate." 

"It's not my job to be compassionate," Adam countered, dropping his bag once again. "Talk."

Davey glared at him. "I was walking home, turned down the back alley and stopped when I heard voice. I looked around the corner to see two man standing over one man on his knees and another man in the far corner. The man pleaded with them and told them he would pay them back the ten thousand dollars, then they shot him. I stumbled back, made some noise, ran, they caught me and threatened my life. I kicked the man with the gun and ran here. There you go,'" he rambled.

"Names. I need names. And I need yours as well, while we're at it."

"My name is David Marchand, but I go by Davey." He paused to think of the names in the alley. "I think I heard Wells, Matthews, and I know I heard Karn."

Nodding, Adam jotted down the names Davey rattled off, recognizing all of them. Tossing his notebook back into his bag, Adam made his way back towards the door. "You wait here, Marchand."

"Who's gonna be the one on my case protecting me?" 

"I don't know. Whoever is available. That is up to my superior."

Davey rolled his eyes and slumped back in the seat. There was something infuriating about that man's attitude that almost made him forget why he was at the police station to begin with. "Are you always like this?" 

Adam didn't bother to dignify Davey's question with a response. Bag in hand, he pulled open the door, stepping into the hallway.

Davey stared at him and tapped his fingers on the table.

*-*-*

Captain Schultz sat at his desk in his office and was going through files and files of paper work. There had to be something about Karn that they were missing.

Shaking his head, Adam made his way back down the hallway, towards the makeshift offices the FBI had set up in the station. Without bothering to knock, he pushed open Schultz's door. "Sir."

"Carson, what's going on?" 

He pulled the notebook from his bag and tossed it onto Schultz's desk, "Names. Details. That's what I've gotten from our witness, David Marchand, so far."

Schultz read over the materials and nodded. "We have to make sure he is protected. He is the piece we need." 

Adam nodded. "Yes, sir." He could care less what happened to this David Marchand after the trial, as long as he could put Karn behind bars.

"You do it." 

Adam nodded gruffly. _Great_. "Yes Sir."

"Now go back to him, get a few officers to go back to his apartment and get him some things. We have to put him up in one of the safe houses." 

"With all due respect, Sir, I know the drill."

"Then go to it."

Giving one last curt nod, Adam turned from the office, making his way back down the hall. Pushing the door open once again, he locked eyes on Davey, "Come with me Marchand."

"Where are we going?"

"To get whatever basic things you need from your place. Clothes, tooth brush, hair brush. Whatever you can't live without. You are under protective custody from this point forward." 

"From who?" 

Inwardly, Adam groaned. "Karn." 

"I meant who is doing the protecting. I should at least know who my life is being saved by, right?"

“You are under my protection, Marchand.”

Davey paused. "Oh now I feel really secure." 

"I could really care less how you feel, as long as you're still alive to testify."

Davey muttered the word ‘asshole’ under his breath and walked out of the room. 

Adam shook his head, not looking forward to this in the slightest. Pulling the door closed behind him, he followed Davey down the hall. As long as Karn ended up behind bars, he could handle just about anything.

Davey walked to the door and waited, turning back to lock eyes with Adam. So this was who was protecting him. He shook his head. This was a nightmare. The whole thing was one huge nightmare. 

Adam could sense Davey's unhappiness at the current situation. His annoyance. It irked him, in fact everything about Davey irked him. Adam shook his head. The sooner they made it through this, the sooner he could move on with his life.

 

Davey opened his eyes, shaking the memory from his head, looking around at his surroundings. He wished it were a nightmare, but it wasn’t. It was very real. He was really held hostage here and there was a huge chance he wouldn’t make it through the day.


	6. Chapter Six

"Night, Carson," Harris called, pulling the door shut behind him. Adam nodded gruffly, allowing his eyes to wander around the apartment. Satisfied that everything was quiet for the time being, he made his way into the kitchen, pulling open the refrigerator door. Grabbing a beer from the shelf, Adam wandered back into the livingroom. He shouldn't be drinking, especially not while he was on duty but he was hard pressed care at the moment. 

Davey sat with his arms crossed in a chair across the room from the man that was to protect him. His eyes following his every move. For two weeks they had done this. Harris during the day, Adam at night. For two weeks Adam and Davey shared dark glances and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why Adam hated him so much. He was doing him a favor by testifying and putting his life on the line. There were times where he would see a smile on the man's face, but it seemed the minute he realized he was smiling, he shook it away.

Adam could feel the dark eyes on him, boring into him. He always stared. It unnerved Adam. Everything about Davey unnerved him. Taking a swig of his beer, Adam raised his narrowing eyes "What?"

"You're drinking?"

Adam rolled his eyes, "Thank you Captain Obvious," he mumbled under his breath. Running his fingers through his hair, Adam sighed, "Yes, I'm having a beer. I don’t see the harm in that." 

"You're supposed to be protecting me and you're drinking. What if someone comes in and you're passed out or something?"Davey questioned. "And why are you such a dick?"

"It's one fucking beer, Marchand," he spat back, not bothering to dignify Davey's second question with an answer. 

Davey rolled his eyes and sat back in the chair. He crossed his legs and swung his foot, pissed at the man in front of him. Pissed because he was an ass and pissed because, despite himself, he had developed a crush on him. 

Annoyance flooded through Adam. Why he let David Marchand get under his skin. he'd never understand. He was infuriating; always wanted to know what was going on, always watching him. The eye roll was the final straw. Shoving himself to his feet, Adam stomped from the livingroom towards the fire escape out back. He needed some air.

Davey's eyes followed him and when he walked outside, he got up and walked to the door. "Why do you hate me?"

Adam groaned, letting the bottle hang at his side, "Why do you care?"

Davey looked down. "You're making me miserable." 

Adam chuckled, taking another swig of his beer, "That makes two of us."

The wind blew making Davey's hair dance around his face. He looked through it at Adam. "I'm sorry," he said softly. 

"Well, that's life," Adam sighed. He knew he was being a right bastard. Knew he had no reason to be. But this whole situation Karn, the trial, everything it was driving him crazy. God, he needed to get away. 

Davey took a deep breath. "Do you have a wife?" He asked trying to make small talk

Adam froze, the bottle in his hand shaking slightly. Of all the fucking things he could have asked. "No," he hissed icily, wanting now more than ever to just be anywhere other than where he was. "And it's none of your business."

Davey stared at him. "I was just trying to start a conversation." 

"Well if I wanted to talk, I would be talking. Get it?" Even as the words flew from his mouth, Adam regretted them. Davey hadn't done a thing to him. He was stuck in the same damned boat Adam was. 

That was it, Davey couldn’t take anymore of the hatefulness. He turned on his heel and ran from the balcony and up to the bedroom he was made to call his. It was cold room, nothing that meant anything to him was in it. He slammed the bedroom door shut and locked it, not wanting anything to do with Adam. Fuck him for being an asshole.

Adam jumped as the door slammed overhead. Great. Taking another swig of his beer, Adam settled himself on the metal grated stairs. His eyes cut up to the night sky, noting how the stars shimmered above him. Lily always loved watching the stars. Violently, Adam shook his head trying to case the thought away. It couldn't handle it, not now. 

Davey looked around the room, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. He needed out. He needed away from all of this; from Adam. He grabbed his duffle bag from under the bed and started shoving clothes into it. He didn’t care where he went, he was just going. He was so frustrated that his own safety meant nothing. He just needed to breathe. After packing his belongs, he ran down the stairs and to the front door. 

The commotion pulled Adam back into the present. Someone was wandering around the apartment. Flying to his feet, he yanked his gun from its holster at his side and scrambled back into the apartment. If something happened now, he'd never forgive himself. Not after he'd been nothing but cold and vindictive to a man who was very much a captive in this situation. 

Gun cocked and raised, Adam crept towards the front door, hoping to head off whoever was snooping about. He'd call for backup later, there wasn't time now. Rounding the corner, He tackled the assailant, pressing his gun firmly against the man's temple. 

Davey screamed, his duffle bag flying. His heart was pounding in his chest and the weight of the man on top of him was crushing. "A...Adam!" 

"Fuck," he hissed recognizing the voice beneath him. Jumping off of Davey's body, Adam gathered himself, shoving his gun back into its holster. "Where the fucking hell you do think you're going Marchand?! I could have fucking killed you!"

"It would have been better than this!" He hissed. "You people are keeping me here, trapped, alone, and you won’t even fucking talk to me." Davey turned his body to look up at Adam, eyes on fire. 

"I'm not here to be your fucking friend, Marchand! I'm here to make sure you stay alive!" Adam's eyes held a fire of their own. The panic and fear that had raged inside of him was now replaced with anger.

"I can’t sit in this fucking house and be silent. I need to be talked to. I need interaction with people. I can’t shut myself off from the fucking world, Carson!" He fired back. 

"Well, I'm sorry but the fucking world doesn't revolve around your needs and your wants." Adam hissed, closer to slamming his fist through a wall than he wanted or needed to be. Davey had a point, Adam knew that. He understood it. But he was angry and he was on edge. Davey had pushed things too far this time. 

"FUCKING TALK TO ME. I AM GOING NUTS!" Davey screamed

Adam stared at Davey, stunned for a moment. He watched as the shorter man's chest heaved and his eyes burned. "Fine, we'll talk," he grumbled, heading back into the livingroom and plopping himself onto the couch. 

His beer, he lamented, had been dropped in the commotion and now lay splattered across the fire escape. He would have gone for another had his nerves not been so frazzled, knowing from experience that when stressed his tolerance lowered. And he couldn't afford to risk it. 

Davey looked at him. "I just want there to be no silence. I want to know a bit about you. Why are you so distant?"

"I have my reasons," he answered, placing his arm over his eyes. That was the one thing he had no desire to speak on. It wasn't any of Davey's concern. It wasn't anyone's concern. 

"Okay, you have kids?" 

Adam shook his head, "No, that never quite worked out for me," he responded with a sigh, "You?"

Davey laughed, his smile reaching his eyes. "Um, no."

"Not a kid person?"

"Well... kinda hard for me to have kids with another man." 

Adam straightened a bit, arm falling from his eyes, "Oh..um...Well, yeah...I can get that...But um.." Nervously, he scratched the back of his head. That wasn't quite the response he'd been expecting. 

"Sorry. I didn't mean to shock you. I'm just kinda open about it."

A soft chuckle feel from Adam's lips, "Yeah, I kind of picked up on that. But hey,” he shrugged, “if it works for you."

Davey pushed up from the floor and took a seat next to Adam on the couch. "So you don’t have a wife, do you have a girlfriend? I mean, if you do, I'm sure she misses you since you can’t talk to her while you’re here protecting me." 

Adam tensed, Lily's face flashing before him. He could feel the tears prickling in his eyes. No, he refused to cry. Not now. Not like this. "No," he whispered, turning away from Davey to gather himself. Why couldn't the man just take a hint?

"Adam?" Davey said reaching out to touch his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Adam shrugged him away, shaking himself, "I'm fine. Nope, no girlfriend or wife." He turned to face Davey once more. "You?"

"No, no boyfriend," he said, studying his face. "So, are you always an ass?" He smiled softly.

"On the job, yes," He replied. "This is my life, I take it seriously."

"When are you off the job? I haven’t seen you smile at all." 

"There really isn't an 'off the job'," Adam shrugged, "It's just how it is."

Davey looked at him and cocked his head to the side. Determined to get a different expression, he smirked. "You need to get laid." 

Adam shook his head. He hadn't been with anyone since Lily. He couldn't make himself. Couldn't tarnish what they shared for a meaningless roll in the sheets. "Sex is better when it means something other than release to the people involved."

"I agree, but you were supposed to laugh," he said nudging him.

He shrugged. "I just didn't find it funny." 

Davey bit his lip ring and ran his fingers through his hair. "Do you have a sense of humor?" 

"Everyone has a sense of humor," he countered.

"That is not true." 

A ghost of a smile spread across Adam's face. "True. But generally the people worth knowing do." Something had changed between them. The awkwardness and hostility had vanished. Granted, Adam knew it was his fault it existed in the first place, but he had to admit it was nice to enjoy the company of another person again.

"Oh, oh, oh what's that I see? Is that a smile, Mr. Carson," he said touching his cheek. 

"Marchand," Adam warned, brushing his hand away.

"I think it is," he teased. "I think there is smile waiting to creep out." He used to fingers to push where dimples would be.

"Marchand," he warned again, sliding farther down the couch.

Davey was holding back laughing because he knew he was bothering Adam. He slid down with him and moved his hand to his side and started tickling. He must really be bored because he never tickled. 

Adam jumped at the contact. "Marchand," he managed to hiss as he struggled against him, "I'm fucking serious. Stop."

"Give in," he said in a sing song voice. "You know you wanna. Crack that sour puss glare."

Adam pushed him back. He knew this was all in jest, but it was a closeness he wasn't ready for. For all the time he'd spent with the man, Davey was still a stranger to him. This, this was too familiar.

"You are impossible. Would it kill you to smile?" Davey asked folding his arms over his chest. "How am I supposed to deal with someone who is afraid to show happiness in any form. Do you at least sigh when you take a much needed piss?"

His head cocked to the side, taken back by Davey's directness. "That's for you to ponder," he quipped, pushing himself from the couch, heading back into the kitchen.

"You are infuriating." 

"Part of my charm," he called, digging through the refrigerator. "Want a drink?" Civil. It wouldn't kill him to be civil, maybe even warm to Davey. He couldn't keep shutting him out. Especially now that the man was persistent in pushing his way in.

"Water. I don’t drink alcohol," Davey said turning back to look at the kitchen. "So how long are you holding me hostage here?"

"No alcohol...ever?" Adam shook his head, "You are a rarity among men, Marchand." Grabbing a bottle of water and another beer, he back towards the livingroom. "You're here until its safe for you to leave. That may be right after the trial...It may be never. Karn's a powerful man and you're in the position to destroy him. You may never be able to leave."

Davey took the water and looked at him. His face changed from promising to hopeless. His life as he knew it was gone. There was a chance he would never see his family again and that this, this apartment of nothingness, was his home. 

Hesitantly, Adam put his hand Davey's shoulder. "There's always a price to pay for doing what's right." Inwardly, he sighed. That was a fact he knew all too well.

"I had a life," he said quietly. "All I wanted was to go home and go to bed." 

"We can't always get what we want, Marchand. That's the way this world works."

Despite himself a tear fell from his eyes and he moved quickly to wipe it away. He didn’t want to cry in front of Adam again. It was bad enough he had at the police station. 

Adam wasn't sure how to react to Davey's show of vulnerability. Cautiously, he squeezed Davey's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Davey looked at his shoulder and then up at Adam. His brown eyes, that had just shown so much spark while playing with Adam, were dull now. Tears welled in them and he felt that, at any moment, he was going to break. 

Adam set his beer on the coffee table, running his fingers through his hair once again. He always did this when he was nervous or uncomfortable. His eyes never left the man sitting before him. He wasn't sure what to say, what to do. And that fact alone frightened him.

Davey turned his head to not look at him anymore and sniffled. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't be. This isn't an ease situation to be in."

"This sucks, Adam."

"I know."

He laid back on the couch, his hair fanning out. The look on his face was that of defeat. This was his life now. 

Adam felt for Davey. His life, his friends, everything had been ripped from him. All because of a split second decision. Hesitantly, Adam lowered himself beside Davey on the couch, torn between waiting to comfort him and wanting to flee. This entire situation was over his head.

Davey didn’t look up at him. He couldn’t or he would break down completely. His body trembled in trying to hold back his tears and he wanted to just disappear. 

"Is there anything I can do?" Adam offered.

Davey loved physical contact and when he was upset that was the only thing that would calm him. He refused to ask him for that. 

He could sense Davey's hesitancy. "Alright then," he started, pushing himself up from the couch. He knew he wouldn't get much out of Davey now. "I'll be in the back if you need me."

"Hold me for a minute," he whispered. "I can’t gather myself without contact from someone." 

Adam froze, his eyes locked on Davey's hunched form. The request echoed in his mind. It was simple. Harmless. Completely understandable. But understanding Davey's need for contact and providing it were two entirely different things. Swallowing audibly, Adam settled himself on the couch once more. 

Davey looked up at him, eyes tear filled and full of fear. He was terrified that he wasn’t going to make it out of this alive. He leaned forward and pressed his head to Adam's chest, listening to his heartbeat and letting it soothe him as much as it could. Pretending that this didn’t make his heart flutter would be stupid, but it really was about the comfort. 

Adam tensed for a brief moment, startled by the sudden contact. Davey's tears soaked through the thin cotton of his t shirt. Gently, he allowed his hand to rest on the small of Davey's back, stroking him softly. 

"I'm so scared, Adam." His hand clutched Adam's shirt as he let the tears flow freely.

"I know you are," Adam whispered, doing all he could to comfort the man in his arms. Pushing the fact this was a man from his mind. Adam allowed his eyes to slip closed, remembering the last time he'd held someone. Tears stung in his eyes. Lily.

Davey turned his head and looked up, noticing the discomfort in the man's arms. His tear filled eyes locked with the hurt blue ones and he swallowed hard. 

"I'm sorry," Adam breathed, pulling away slightly. "I just...I can't."

"I... I wasn’t."

"I know...I just...I'm sorry." Adam pushed himself to his feet. "I'm sorry."

Davey looked up at him. "Someone broke your heart, right?" 

"I don't want to talk about it."

"But sometimes it helps if you..." 

"I. Said. No," he hissed, plucking his beer off the table and retreating down the hall to the spare bedroom he'd claimed.

Davey stared at the hall and didn’t know what to think about the sudden outburst. He thought that he and Adam were making some kind of progress at being friends, but maybe he was wrong.

Adam slammed the bedroom door shut, tossing himself onto bed. Memories swam through his mind. Images, places, events. Things he'd tried so hard to repress came rushing back. Her bright eyes. Her warm smile. Her laugh. The tears streamed from his eyes. Why did he have to lose her? Why?

Davey got up from the couch, feeling the need to apologize and knocked on the door. "Adam?"

"Go away," he hissed through clenched teeth. "Just go away."

"Adam," he said opening the door. "I'm sorry." 

"Get out." Adam whispered, not bothering to face the door.

"You're crying." 

Roughly, Adam jerked around "What part of 'Get out' do you not understand?"

Davey jumped back. "If you’re upset, let me help." 

"If you want to help, just go!" he hissed, blue eyes burning.

Davey swallowed hard and backed out. "Fine," he managed to choke out.

"This is none of your business, Marchand. None." Flipping back around once more, Adam stared blankly at the wall before him. 

"I said I was fucking sorry."

"And I thought I asked you to leave," he snapped.

"FINE!" He slammed the door shut and walked to his bedroom. 

"Fine," Adam echoed in a whisper. "Fine."

Davey went back to his room and flopped on the bed, refusing to say anything else to Adam Carson.

Adam rolled onto his back, rubbing his eyes roughly as he stared at the ceiling. The slamming of the door still echoed through the silence of the apartment. He had to pull himself together, get himself under control. For his sake...For Davey's.


	7. Chapter Seven

The dream was unending. Davey tossed and turned, unable to get the sight of the man being shot out of his head. Several times he'd dreamed this, but this time it was different. This time he was the man with the gun in his face. The cold steel against his temple sent a shiver through his spine as he begged for his life. A shot rang out and when it did, Davey shot up screaming, crying and clawing at anything he could find, still caught between sleep and reality. 

The scream shook Adam violently back into reality. Setting aside the newspaper he dosed off reading, he bolted towards Davey's bedroom. His hand resting on his weapon, preparing himself for whatever awaited him. 

To say things had been tense in the apartment would have been an understatement. After his blow up, Adam had done his best to avoid Davey as much as his job would allow. He'd shut himself off completely from the other man. Adam knew Davey had noticed. He'd seen the sideways glances the shorter man had shot him and the confusion and pain in his eyes. 

Another scream broke through the silence. "God, I'm dying," Davey cried. "Not this way, not this way!"

Kicking the door open, Adam rushed into the room, caught off guard by the sight unfolding before him. Davey's hair was wild, as were his eyes. Fear and confusion radiated off him in waves. "Marchand?" he asked, hesitantly.

Davey's eyes flew open and he immediately flew out of his bed, past Adam, to the bathroom to checking his head for the wound. Tears streamed down his face as he frantically moved his hair from both sides to makes sure. 

Stunned, Adam's eyes never left Davey's frantic form. "Marchand?" he asked once more, taking a cautious step towards the man before him.

Davey turned to look at him, his eyes wild and wet from tears. "I... the shot... it was me." 

"Slow down," Adam started, taking a few more cautious steps towards Davey. "What shot you? Marchand, you aren't making any sense."

Davey took a deep breath and went back to the bedroom. "It doesn’t matter because you don’t give a shit about me anyway." 

"If it concerns your safety, it sure as fuck matters to me!" Adam snapped back, annoyance and frustration heavy in his voice.

"It was just a nightmare."

"If it was just a nightmare, you wouldn't be this frightened," Adam countered.

Davey curled up on the bed and looked opposite of Adam. "I was the man they shot. They shot me." 

Adam made his way towards the bed, sitting on the edge. "This isn't the first time you've dreamt this is it?"

Davey shook his head no and closed his eyes. "Off and on since the day it happened." 

Adam ran his fingers through his hair. "Do you want to talk about it?" he posed.

"Its just real. The cold of the gun, the sounds. I can feel the bullet enter my head. Its just..." He trailed off and took a deep breath. 

"It's terrifying," he finished, knowing all too well how it felt.

Davey nodded. 

"It'll get better," Adam continued. "Maybe not right away..."

"Do you have nightmares, Adam?"

He nodded gruffly.

"What about?" 

"None of your business," he snapped, eyes closing. No, he refused to go into it. Refused to relive the pain, the fear. He couldn't do it.

Davey looked at him, hurt. "I give up with you," he said quietly. 

"What?"

"Every time I ask you anything you snap at me." 

"That's because its none of your fucking business, Marchand! Alright?" Adam cringed at his own words. His coldness. 

Davey turned over onto his stomach. "You are an asshole. I can tell you all about me, but you don’t share a Goddamn thing about you." 

"That's because it isn't any of your business! Your life is my business! Keeping you alive is my fucking business!"

"Fine! Sorry I give a damn about you." 

Adam simply shook his head and marched from the room. Every second his spent with Davey only seemed to infuriate him more. This job would be the death of him.

Davey felt tears fill his eyes and sighed into the pillow. He was so stubborn. Why he had to fall for someone like that was beyond him. Adam wasn’t even gay.

Grumbling, Adam continued down the hallway, annoyance bubbling through him. He tossed himself back onto the couch, fishing the remote from the coffee table. There had to be something mindless on. At this point he couldn’t care less what it was.

*-*-*

Davey rolled over and looked at the clock on his desk. It was six thirty and there was no way he was going to get anymore sleep than what he had. Taking a deep breath, he got up and walked out of the bedroom in only the pajama bottoms he'd gone to bed with. He was starving and decided to fix himself and Adam breakfast.

Adam shifted uncomfortably. The couch had never been the most comfortable of things and yet somehow he'd managed to fall asleep on it yet again. He lay there as long as he could possibly stand it, hoping sleep would claim him once again. With a frustrated groan, he gave up feigning sleep a few moments later. 

Davey walked past the couch and into the kitchen, pulling out the vegan pancake batter and fake bacon. He was going to starve to death if he didn’t eat soon. 

The commotion in the kitchen caught Adam's attention, forcing him to sit up on the couch. His hair, he knew, was a nightmare, sticking out at odd angles, and he hadn't bothered to change clothes last night. Taking a few minutes to gather himself and rub the sleep from his eyes, Adam finally pushed himself to his feet and padded into the kitchen.

Davey was bent over the, reaching into the cabinets for the griddle he needed. Lightly he hummed, swaying his ass back and forth to the tune in his head, not knowing anyone was watching. 

"Isn't it a bit early for you to be up and about Marchand?"

Davey jumped and turned. "I... I was hungry." 

Adam tossed up his hands defensively, "I was just asking."

"Maybe I should tell you to fuck off for just asking." 

Adam glared at Davey, his eyes narrowing. "Fine. Suit yourself." Shaking his head, he turned from the kitchen and stormed back towards his bedroom. Roughly, he tossed himself on his bed. A quick glance at his clock told him Harris wouldn't be on for another three hours. _Just fucking great_.

Davey slammed the griddle on the stove and jerked open the cabinet doors, grabbing a bowl out to mix the batter. _'Stubborn, assholish, son of a bitch.’_

Groaning, Adam pulled his pillow over his head, trying to block out the incessant banging and clanging Davey seemed to whole heartedly embrace in the kitchen. If he wanted to throw a fit, that was fine. Adam simply wasn't in the mood to deal with it.

"You want something to eat?" Davey’s voice echoed down the hall.

Adam pulled the pillow off of his head, not bothering to turn towards the door. "What?" he called back, his tone far harsher than he'd intended it to be. _Great_. 

Slamming the utensil he was using down on the counter, Davey stormed back to Adam's bedroom and climbed on the bed. He was standing on the over him, hair hanging in front of his face. "Are. You. Hungry?"

Adam groaned, knowing food was the farthest from his mind. "No," he grumbled, pulling the pillow back over his face. 

Davey sat down, straddling him. "You have to eat." 

"You're not my mother, Marchand. I said I'm not hungry!"

"Can you quit being a pompous ass for two seconds?"

"Can you quit being a whiny bitch?"

Davey narrowed his eyes and reached back, smacking him hard on the chest. "I've been dealing with you. My patience is fucking gone." 

Adam's eyes snapped open, his hand slamming around Davey's wrist. "Don't fucking touch me."

A sharp whimper fell from his lips and he looked at Adam fearfully. With a hiss, Adam dropped Davey's wrist, flipping back over onto his side. 

Davey slowly crawled from the bed, holding his wrist. His eyes never left Adam's form. He backed out and headed towards the kitchen, his appetite gone. 

Guilt flooded through him. Adam sighed, he'd been a complete and utter jackass. And there was no excuse for it. _Great. Just Great_. Tossing the pillow off his face, Adam pulled himself from the bed and stumbled back down the hallway. 

Quietly, Davey stirred the pancake batter, his hand shaking from Adam's lashing out. He hadn’t expected that. He got all of the lumps out of the batter he could and poured a bit onto the griddle. 

"I'm sorry." Adam whispered, scratching the back of his head.

Davey turned his head slightly, listening to him. His emotions were so high that if he looked up at Adam right now he would burst into tears. 

"Listen, I didn't mean to jump on you like that. I just...There's...I'm sorry." Adam finished softly, knowing the apology was inadequate. But he wasn't ready, wasn't willing to go into anything more.

Davey nodded, not speaking. Scared to speak. He flipped the pancakes over and waited. 

A sigh fell from Adam's parted lips and he ran his fingers through his hair. The silence unnerved him. "I just...I'll be in the livingroom."

"I’ll fix you a plate," Davey said softly.

Adam nodded silently, making his way into the livingroom and plopping back onto the couch.

"It’s all vegan. I hope that’s okay. That's what I asked for." 

"I'm vegetarian. Its fine," he called back.

Davey finished with breakfast and walked out with his plate and Adam's. "Here," he said handing it to him, his eyes still not meeting the cop’s. 

Adam took the plate cautiously mumbling a "thank you” before silently sitting the plate onto the coffee table. 

Davey gathered the syrup and silverware and then made his way to the couch, sitting quietly next to Adam. He felt a bit of tenseness from sitting so close, so he scooted down on the floor. 

"I can move if you want."

"No, its fine." He was quiet, broken sounding. Adam had jumped at him several times, but never scared him. 

"No. No, it's not."

Davey looked up at him. "What are you talking about?" 

"You're not fine. This whole things isn't 'fine'."

Davey locked eyes with him, unsure of what he meant. "What are you saying?"

"I just," Adam began, his eyes lowering to his hands, "This...I...Forget it." 

"No, what?" 

"Nothing...Just forget I said anything." Adam pushed himself to his feet. "Thanks again, for the food."

"ADAM! Don’t fucking shut me out." 

"It's nothing. Really." Adam countered, wishing Davey would just drop it.

"Talk to me, damn it!" His chest was heaving from being so upset. "I am trapped in this house with a loose cannon. You owe me."

Adam paused, his hands falling to his sides "I don't talk about myself. To anyone. It has nothing to do with you. Nothing."

"Why not?"

"Because it's my life, dammit! MINE!"

Davey stared at him. "A lonely life with no one in it and if you don’t stop being such a prick you will never find someone. I am running for my life and would give anything for the guarantee that I am going to be able to fall in love. But I guess a heartless bastard like you would know nothing about love." 

Something in Adam snapped. Spinning around, his eyes lock on Davey, seething. "You don't know the first FUCKING thing about me! Not the first thing. You know NOTHING about her! About ANYTHING that happened! YOU. KNOW. NOTHING!"

Davey's jaw dropped and he jumped back. Her. There was a her. Slowly he walked over to Adam, touching his cheek. "What happened to you?" 

"Don't touch me," Adam hissed, backing away. "Just don't."

"Why do you hate me?" 

"I don't," he whispered. "Please...Just...Just don't."

"Then why do you treat me so badly?" 

Adam backed away slowly, his mind reeling. He wanted to run. Wanted to leave and never look back. But he couldn't. This was his job, the only thing he had left. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me"

"I...I can't." His eyes were lifeless, broken.

Davey walked up to him and wrapped his arms around him to hold him. Adam looked like he needed it. Needed this comfort.

Adam's first instinct was to push him away. To close himself off. It was how he survived. How he carried on. How he managed to breathe ever since Lily had died. It was all he had left. But he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough. 

Her face flashed in his mind. Her smile. Her laugh. The mangled, bloody body he'd stumbled across the eve of their three year anniversary. The night be planned on proposing. A strangled sob erupted from his throat as he collapsed against Davey. 

Davey held him as tight as he could, lightly running his hand over Adam’s head. '"It’s okay. Let it out." He held Adam for all he was worth as he sobbed. This wasn’t something he expected but it was something he knew was much needed.

Sobs wracked Adam's body. He could barely feel Davey's arms around him. He was numb. Drained. Tears streamed down his face, "I....I'm sorry," he managed to whisper after he'd gathered himself enough to speak. 

"It’s okay." 

Untangling himself from Davey's arms, Adam struggled to catch his breath, rubbing the tears from his eyes. "I just...I need to go...I'm sorry..." Adam trailed off, stumbling back towards his room. He needed to shut himself away. Needed to get himself together.

"Adam... please. Let me."

Adam shook his head violently. He'd already fallen apart. He couldn't be this vulnerable. Not again

"You can’t keep living inside of yourself. You'll die that way." Davey walked over to him and place both hands on his cheeks, pulling his face to meet his. "You can't keep holding it in." 

Adam shook his head, unable to look Davey in the eyes. "I can't...I can't."

"Look at me. You can."

"I can't," he countered, his eyes brimming with tears once again. Slowly he raised them to lock on Davey's. "It hurts. I just...I can't."

Davey looked at him. This man was broken. He wasn’t sure what had happened to him, but it had shattered him. Slowly and gently he pressed his lips to Adam's. He wasn’t sure why he did it, but he felt it right. It was the only way he knew how to comfort Adam. 

Adam's eyes slipped closed, losing himself in the warmth of Davey's lips. He couldn't process much more past the soft lips, the cool band of metal and the comfort he could fill in the kiss. It was exquisite. Safe. Something he hadn't felt since Lily. Lily. The name sent sparks through his mind, forcing himself violently into reality. He was kissing someone. Someone who wasn't Lily. A man. Panic and confusion swarmed through him. Jumping backwards, Adam stared wide eyed at the man standing before him, his fingers grazing over his lips. What had he done?

Davey stared at him, terrified. He'd fucked up. Really fucked up. "I'm... I'm sorry." 

"I...I can't," Adam mumbled, turning on his heel and sprinting towards his room. Millions of thoughts swam through his mind. He couldn't process this. He couldn't process anything. Davey had kissed him. Made him feel something for the first time in three years. 

Davey touched his mouth with his fingertips and leaned against the wall. He was so close to at least having him open a little and his feelings had gotten in the way. Defeated, he slid down the wall to the floor. He'd really fucked it all up.


	8. Chapter Eight

Sheets of rain pelted against the smooth glass of the window. Adam found himself transfixed, watching the lightening streak across the blackened sky. The steady rumble of thunder that followed was oddly comforting, filling the silence of the room. Things had been relatively quiet, something Adam considered both a blessing and a curse. He could breathe, yes, the constant danger not as prevalent, but he couldn't escape his mind. His thoughts. He wanted to be numb.

Davey slowly walked down the hallway. He'd been locked up in this apartment for what felt like forever without any contact with anyone. He was starting to get cabin fever and quite home sick. "Adam?" He said softly. 

Adam nodded gruffly in Davey's direction, acknowledging his presence. He wasn't sure he could handle anything more. Not now. Not when he was so turned about. _No_ , he told himself, _just stop. Let it go. It doesn't matter_. 

"I want to see my mother,” Davey posed, leaning against the wall beside Adam.

"Out of the question."

"Adam, I miss my family," Davey said softly. 

Threading his fingers through his hair, Adam turned from the window slightly. "I said no. You go out there and you're asking to get yourself killed. We're too close to this trial, to nailing Karn to let your stupidity ruin it."

Davey hung his head. "Adam, please."

"No, Marchand," he hissed, his words containing far more venom than he had intended. 

Davey looked at him, defiance in his eyes and stormed back to his bedroom. He was determined to see his mother, even if he had to sneak out to do it. 

With a frustrated sigh, Adam returned his attention towards the window. Davey's annoyance and frustration were not lost on him. The defiance in his eyes still burned him more than Adam cared to think on. No, he wouldn't think on it. It wouldn't matter to him. It couldn't matter to him. Not now. He had a job to do. That was all. It couldn't be anything more. 

Quietly, Davey slid open the window in his bedroom and climbed out of it. He was determined to get to his mother. Talk to her. Something. She hadn’t seen or heard from him in what seemed like forever. She had to have been worried sick. Even if he couldn’t see her, he wanted to get to a pay phone to call her. To let her know he was alright. 

The thunder grew louder as the storm rolled closer. With each flash of lightening, Adam forced himself to forget. Forget the confusion flowing through him. Forget the warm and tenderness of Davey's lips. Forget the way he wished the kiss touched him, and in a way he never thought he'd feel again. He had to forget.

Davey rushed out in the rain and down the street to the nearest payphone. Quickly getting inside, he placed two quarters in and started to dial his mother’s number. He couldn’t wait to hear her voice. He needed something friendly, familiar. 

A door in the back of the apartment slammed shut, startling Adam from his thoughts. "Marchand?" he called, pushing himself to his feet. No answer. Dread coursed through him. Hand resting on the handle of his weapon, Adam made his way quickly down the hall. 

Weapon drawn, he quickly shoved open the door to Davey's room. Flowing curtains and gusts of rain were all that greeted him. Paling, he ran to the window. Davey was gone.

Davey waited for an answer at his mother’s house. The phone rang continuously and finally he just gave up. It was Tuesday and she usually played Bridge with her friends. He was just hoping that she would be home. He opened the payphone door and slid out of it, heading back to the apartment.

The first call Adam had made was to Schultz, calmly explaining what he'd uncovered despite the racing of his heart and panic of his thoughts. Davey was gone. They'd gotten him. He'd failed. 

Davey walked back to the apartment and pulled himself back in the window. It had all been in vain. He'd risked his safety and still had yet to speak to his mother. This was miserable. 

Adam paced desperately around the livingroom, panic racing through him. _Not again_ , be prayed, _Please God not again_. Schultz was scheduled to arrive within the hour, Adam couldn't afford to lose it now.

Davey’s hair was rain soaked and he knew he had to get out of his clothes before Adam saw, so he stripped down to nothing and pulled on his pajama bottoms. With two chopsticks, he pulled his hair up in a bun and sat down on the bed. 

Davey turned sat back in the bed, turning to the bed table to grab his book. He just wanted to get his mind off reality for a bit. Taking a deep breath, he took the book mark out and turned the table lamp on.

Running his fingers through his hair, Adam's eyes remained glued on the front door. He swallowed thickly. He'd fucked up. A series of soft thumps from the back of the apartment filtered through his troubled thoughts. Something, someone was there. Hand grasped firmly on his gun, Adam hurried back to the room. Forcefully, he shoved Davey's door open once more, gun raised. 

"Marchand!" Adam hissed, his eyes falling upon the man on the bed. A dozen conflicting emotions flew through him. Last of all, anger. "What the fucking hell were you thinking?! Do you WANT to end up dead?!"

Davey jumped, staring at Adam. His temper was flaring, he could see it. He just didn’t know what to do with it. "I... I went to talk to my mom."

Red tore through Adam's vision. He'd panicked for nothing. Davey was fine. He should have been relieved. But his anger still boiled. "You are fucking moron, Marchand! I should just shoot you myself and save the bastards the effort!"

Davey's jaw dropped. Throwing the covers from the bed he walked over to Adam, standing inches from his face. "Do it." 

Adam raised his gun, aiming directly at Davey's chest. He'd never been so tempted to pull the trigger. Not since Lily’s death. "Don't test me, Marchand."

With his eyes locked on Adam's he walked into the gun, letting the barrel hit his chest. "Take me out, Carson." 

His blue eyes fuming, Adam cocked his weapon, pressing it more firmly against Davey's chest. "You aren't worth my career," he spat, dropping his arm just as quickly as he'd raised it.

"Chicken shit."

"You know nothing about me," Adam hissed.

Davey walked closer to him, close enough that he could feel Adam's breath on him. "I know you’re trying to pretend that kiss meant nothing." 

Defiance and anger shining in his eyes, Adam stared Davey down, "Don't flatter yourself, Marchand."

"Prove me wrong." 

"I don't have to prove anything to you." His voice dead even, eyes dark and cold.

"You are so fucking scared to feel anything. Is it because I'm a guy?" 

"I could care less who the fuck you are," Adam hissed, refusing to acknowledge just how close to home Davey's words had hit. "You mean nothing to me, Marchand. NOTHING."

Davey looked down. "You kissed me back." 

"A kiss is a kiss, Marchand. Nothing more. Nothing less." 

Davey looked up, meeting his eyes. "It meant something to me," he whispered.

Adam swallowed thickly, averting his eyes for a brief moment. Davey's words unnerved him. "That's none of my concern."

"You are so fucking cold hearted," he spat, eyes burning a hole through him. "I'm sorry I ever met you." 

Davey's words sparked something in Adam. Violently, he shoved Davey back onto the bed, his eyes raging. "Shut the fuck up about matters you know NOTHING about," he hissed, "And there is at least one thing we can agree on. I wish I'd never met you either!" 

Davey shook with fear, eyes locked on Adam. He backed slowly up to the head of the bed. His protector scared him more than the possibility of being shot half the time. "Well then fuck off!" Davey yelled. "Let me leave out of here. If I mean shit to you, and you wish you'd never met me, let me go so I can get killed and you won’t have to worry about it." 

"I have a job to do, Marchand. And I refuse to let Karn go free. I REFUSE," he screamed, anger, guilt and confusion swirling through him. What was he doing?

Getting off the bed, he stormed passed Adam. "I refuse to stay here with you!"

"You leave here Marchand, Karn will find you and he WILL kill you. You want me gone so badly, fine. I'll leave. Schultz is on his way here as we speak. He shows, I leave."

"Why is Schultz on his way?" Davey asked, stopping just short of the door. 

"You were gone. Your window was open, your room was a fucking mess. What the fuck was I supposed to think, Marchand?! He's on his way here because I was sure as hell they'd gotten you! I was sure as hell you were dead!" He screamed, shaking slightly.

"And you would love that, I'm sure. Because I mean NOTHING to you!" 

"You're my responsibility, Marchand! Mine! You think I would leap for joy if I knew you were dead? If I knew I'd let the fucking bastard win AGAIN?!" Adam shouted, his voice cracking. He couldn't do this. Not anymore. He was a fool to think he could.

"Yes. I think you would dance in the fucking street if I were dead!" 

"Shut up, Marchand. Just SHUT. UP."

"No! I am so sick of you telling me what I can and can’t say. Truth hurts, and you are fucking prick for making me feel this way." 

"I'm a prick, you're a suicidal nutcase! We're two fucking peas in a pod, huh?!" Adam pushed past Davey, storming into the livingroom. He couldn't take this right now. He'd lost it once, he couldn't do so again.

Davey followed him. "You know, if you would just be a man about things and at least acknowledge that you enjoyed kissing me, things would be better." 

"Just don't okay, Marchand? Just don't."

Davey walked over to him and got within inches of his face. "You want to again."

"What?" Adam spat out, confusion flooding through him.

"You want to kiss me again." 

"Don't."Adam warned softly.

Slowly, Davey leaned up and pressed his lips to Adam's. He wanted the kiss, needed it. He just hoped he didn’t pay for being so bold. 

Adam struggled against Davey for a moment, wishing he didn't want this as badly as his body told him he did. His eyes drifted closed, hands moving from his side to tangle in Davey's hair.

A soft whimper spilled from Davey's lips and into Adam. He was kissing him back. Warmth spread through him at the realization he was right. Adam did feel something or he couldn’t kiss him like this. Gently, he slid his hands down over Adam's chest and then to his hips. 

Davey's hands burned as they traveled over his body. He shouldn't want this. God, he shouldn't want this. Confusion and fear resonated in his mind, but the lust coursing through his veins forced everything else from his conscious thought. Roughly, he pulled Davey tightly against him, relishing in the feel of the warm, hard body against his. So different from anything he'd ever wanted. Something he feared he'd never get enough of.

Davey walked him back towards the couch, deepening the kiss. This was what he wanted and being held by Adam felt better than he'd ever anticipated. He slid his hand under Adam’s shirt, touching his skin. Adam felt as if he were on fire and Davey couldn’t get enough of it. 

The soft patterns Davey traced along his skin sent shivers of pleasure coursing through Adam. Boldly, he allowed his own fingers to trace Davey's bare chest as well. The skin felt heavenly beneath his fingertips. Soft, smooth and oh so warm. He couldn't get enough. 

Roughly, Adam felt the back of his knees hit the couch, jolting him back into reality. Cold fear flushed through him once again. He couldn't do this. It was too soon. Too fast. His mind was spinning.

Davey parted his mouth a bit, touching his tongue to the top of Adam's lip. He tasted so good and he couldn’t seem to get enough. There were no words to describe how good Adam felt and how glad Davey was that he was letting him in, if only a little bit. 

Adam panicked when he felt Davey's tongue trace along his top lip. He couldn't do this. Not now. Bracing his hands on Davey's shoulders, he pushed the smaller man back. 

"What? Did I do something wrong?" Davey asked, confusion swimming in his eyes.

Backing away, Adam shook his head. "I can't do this...Too much...I just...I can't..." He knew he wasn't making very much sense, he couldn't barely make sense of it himself. He was falling apart. He couldn't do this. 

Davey looked down and backed away. "It’s okay. I didn’t mean to push."

"Don't...Just...I....I have to go," he stammered, reaching blinding into his back pocket for the pack fo cigarettes and lighter he kept there, as he stumbled towards the fire escape. He had to clear his head. He couldn't be near Davey. Not now. 

Davey watched him go outside and took a deep breath. He wished with everything he had that he hadn’t fallen in love with this cop, but he had. A tear rolled down his cheek. He had the worst feeling that he wasn’t going to make it through this and that he would never know what it was like to be loved so completely. 

Adam leaned against the cool brick of the building. With shaking hands, he pulled a cigarette from the pack and placed it between his lips. Three tries later, he managed to light the cigarette, taking a long drag from it. His eyes slipped closed and tried desperately to push all thought from his mind.

Davey slowly walked outside and stood at the balcony door. "You're angry with me?”

"You shouldn't be out here," Adam snapped, dutifully side stepping Davey's question. He wished the man would simply leave, his nerves too frazzled to handle anything more.

"You want me to go inside?”

"Yes," came Adam’s curt reply.

"This hurts me too, Adam," he said softly. 

"Go, Marchand."

"I'm falling in love with you, Adam," he whispered. 

"Stop, Marchand," Adam whispered, "Just stop."

"I'm sorry." 

Adam turned his attention back towards the rain falling before him. Why couldn't Davey just leave? Taking another long drag from the cigarette, Adam let his eyes slip closed. 

"You win, I give up. I don’t want to try to get closer, because every time we do, you push me fifty feet back afterwards."

Adam's free hand rustled through his hair. Davey was right, he was closing him out. Pushing him away. But he couldn't handle this. It was too much. 

Davey pushed off the door frame and turned. He didn’t want to be near Adam anymore. His heart couldn’t take the rejection anymore. He walked into the kitchen and pulled an apple from the fruit basket. 

A harsh knock sounded at the front door. "Carson!" Schultz bellowed, the knocking growing louder. Davey never moved from his spot. He bit into the apple and waiting for Adam. The knocking grew louder still. "Carson!" 

With a sigh, Adam stamped out the rest of his cigarette before climbing back into the apartment. "Coming," he called, voice flat, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

Davey watched him as he passed and peaked his head around the corner as Adam opened the door. 

Adam unlocked and unbolted the door, pulling it open to reveal a stone faced Schultz. "We've got men scouring the area..."

"Call them off."

"What, Carson?" Schultz spat in disbelief.

"He's here. He's fine. Crisis over." Adam's voice was stoic, cold. Davey waved at Schultz from around the corner. 

"What the fuck happened?" Schultz hissed, his dark eyes boring into Adam's. The department had been in a tizzy because Davey had disappeared. And now he was back. Just like that. Schultz demanded answers.

"I snuck out to call my mother. It wasn’t Adam's fault." 

Schultz's eyes bulged from their sockets. "You what?" His harsh gaze snapped back onto Adam. "You let him sneak out? Carson what the fucking hell is wrong with you?"

"I fucked up, sir." Adam answered plainly.

"You're damned right you fucked up!"

"Stop it! He didn’t fuck up. I snuck out. He told me no and I snuck out." 

"You're supposed to be guarding him, Carson. He's not supposed to be able to sneak out. He's sneaks out Carson, that means THEY can sneak in. You of all people should know how Karn works Carson!"

Davey took a deep breath and walked over to Schultz, getting in his face. "Stop yelling at him. He didn’t do anything wrong. I did. Yell at me, not him." 

"Stay out of this. Marchand," Adam warned, his voice low and dead even.

"No... He’s wrong." Davey started.

"HE is wrong, Marchand," Schultz hissed, "If HE was doing his job YOU wouldn't have gotten out!"

"And if you had done yours, Karn would have been caught long before he shot that guy in the alley." 

Schultz paused, his face growing redder. "What did you say?"

"You heard me," Davey shot back, his eyes blazing. 

"Davey!" Adam hissed, "Lay off it. I fucked up. ME."

Davey turned and looked at him. "You called me Davey." 

Adam froze for a split second, Davey's statement sinking in. Shaking his head, he returned his attention to Schultz. He would deal with Davey later. "I was distracted. I fucked up, sir. I'm willing to step down if you feel it’s the best course of action."

Davey's eyes widened. "No!" 

"Do you want me to take you off this case, Carson?" Schultz asked, disbelief evident in his voice. In all the years Adam had been under his supervision, he'd never backed off a case. Not even Lily's.

Davey looked at him, his eyes worried. He didn’t want Adam to leave. He pleaded with him to stay, his eyes tearing up. ' _Please stay with me_ ,' he thought.

"I don't want to place this trial in jeopardy," he answered honestly, "We've come too far to lose it all now."

Davey let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He didn’t know what he would do if Adam actually left. Trying to hide the relief, he looked down. 

"I'm distracted and it's putting Marchand in danger. I don't wait to risk this."

"Adam!" Davey cried, eyes widening

"Carson, you are one of my best agents. I have implicit faith in your abilities and your sense of duty,” Schultz began, resting his hand on Adam’s shoulder, “So I'm going to be quite frank with you, what the fuck is going on in that head of yours? Do you really want to wash your hands of this case?"

Davey looked at Adam. He needed him to stay. He didn’t want to get used to someone else. He was in love with Adam and he would never see him again if he left. 

Adam's eyes darted between Schultz and Davey. This was his ticket out. All he had to do was say the word and he could walk, he could be free of all of this. Before he became too attached. Before he put Davey's life in anymore danger. But a part of him knew it was too late. He was caught. "I..No," he finished softly. He couldn't leave.

Davey smiled, relief shining in his eyes. 

Schultz nodded, relief evident in his eyes for a brief moment. "You fuck up again Carson and I will yank you from this case. Do you hear me?"

Adam nodded, "Yes sir."

Davey looked down, cutting his eyes to Adam. He was going to have to quit being defiant if he was going to keep Adam. "I'm sorry I left." 

Adam nodded in response watching Schultz walk from the room, walkie talkie in hand, calling off the search. Shakily, he ran a hand through his hair. Davey looked up at Adam, locking his eyes with him. He stayed. He could have left and he didn’t.

Averting his eyes, Adam wandered into the kitchen, pulling a bottle of water from the fridge. Silently, he wandered back out into the livingroom, settling himself on one of the chairs, his eyes clearly avoiding the couch.

Davey watched him. He was uncomfortable. He got as close as he could and whispered. "Does it bother you that I'm a man?”

Adam sighed, unsure of what to say at first. This was new to him. All of this. He'd never dreamed he could feel anything again. Not after Lily. And not with a man. But at the same time..."I just don't know," he answered, honestly.

"Want me to go away?"

Another sigh, "I don't know."

"Want me to kiss you again?" 

Adam's eyes slipped closed, his hands settling stiffly in his lap. "I don't know." Davey leaned over towards him and placed and gentle kiss on his neck. Adam shivered, Davey's lips felt divine against his skin. But the confusion was still there and he was torn.

"I can stop." 

"I...I don't know..."

Davey slid back and looked at him. "I know how I feel about you, but I don’t want to push. Let me know what you want from me." 

"I...This is hard for me...I want this...But I just...I don't know if I can."

"It’s okay. Think it over. Decide what’s best." Davey kissed his cheek and walked towards his bedroom. 

Adam let out a shuddering breath, his head falling into his hands. Confusion, desire and fear coursed through him. What if he was never ready?


	9. Chapter Nine

Two painfully slow weeks had passed since attempted Davey’s flight and its panicked and emotionally fueled outcome. In that time, Davey had barely spoken to Adam. There were no touches, no flirtations, nothing. He didn’t want to push and he didn’t want to feel the hurt of being rejected so he didn’t put himself out there for it to happen. Adam was going to have to come to him. 

Adam stared blankly at the TV before him, a hand running through his now shaggy hair. Absently, he made himself a mental note to get it cut. He never could stand it that length. With a sigh, his mind wandered over the uncertainty he found himself tangled in. 

The silence that had fallen over the apartment was unnerving to say the least. _This must be how he felt_ , Adam thought. He hated the awkwardness between them. Hated the confusion still humming through him. With a sigh, Adam leaned his head back against the back of the couch. He didn't know what to do anymore.

Davey walked out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. He hadn’t been out of his room all day and he was extremely hungry. There had to be something he could fix that was quick and easy. He opened the refrigerator and searched through, finally deciding to fix himself a salad. 

The rustling from the kitchen caught Adam's attention. Raising his head, Adam watched Davey shift through the refrigerator. His mouth fell open, Davey's name on the tip of his tongue. Mutely, he sat watching him. The words wouldn't come. 

Quickly, Davey washed the tomato he’d found and then began to slice it into small squares. When he was done, he opened the packaged salad and dumped the tomato into the bowl with it. Turning to put the bag back into the refrigerator, he grabbed the Italian dressing and poured it over his meal. He grabbed a fork and bottle of water, he walked from the kitchen, heading back towards his bedroom. 

Adam remained silent, watching Davey chop the tomato. He was taken by just how gracefully Davey moved. It was something he'd never noted before...Never allowed himself to note. 

All too quickly, he watched Davey gather his bowl and slowly begin his path back down the hallway. _He didn't said a word_ , Adam thought. It shouldn't have bothered him. Davey hadn't directly spoken to him in weeks, unless he had no other choice but to do so. But for some reason, this time it stung. "Davey."

Davey stopped and turned. His eyes locked with Adam for a moment. He didn’t even ask him what he wanted. He just waited for Adam to speak. 

"I...” Adam began, unsure of what to say. How to start. He'd hurt Davey, alienated him, because he was afraid. He still was afraid. Afraid to get too close. Afraid to care. Afraid of betraying the memory of the woman he loved. "I'm sorry," he finished lamely, knowing that those words were hardly enough.

Davey looked down. "For what?”

Adam swallowed, pulling his eyes away from Davey's form. "For everything."

"So noted," he said softly. "You're forgiven." He turned to go to the bedroom, hating that he was coming off as cold as he was, but he was sick of being the one getting hurt. As much as he wanted to believe Adam was sincere or that the apology would change something, he knew it wouldn’t. Adam would just pull away in about ten minutes. 

Davey's curtness and his disregard stung Adam more than he cared to dwell on. A taste of his own medicine. Adam watched silently as the man continued down the hall. Maybe it was better this way.

Davey placed the bowl of salad down on the night stand and then sat on the bed. As hungry as he was, he couldn’t bear to eat now. He hated being this way to Adam. The back of his mind always held the question, what if. 

The soft click of the door was like a slap to the face. Adam sighed. He shouldn't have stayed. Things were off now. He was off. It frightened him.

Taking a deep breath, Davey stood up and walked back towards the door. Quietly he walked down the hallway and stood at the end, looking at Adam. 

Adam's eyes locked on Davey, surprised to see him standing there. "Yes?" he finally managed to choke out, praying his words didn't sound as frazzled and spent as he felt.

"I thought you may have more you wanted to say. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t care." 

Adam swallowed thickly, not sure of what to make of Davey's words. "I just...This is new to me. All of this...and it's been so long since..." he trailed off, swallowing once more. "I just...I'm sorry."

"A full sentence would be better for me to understand," he said, trying to joke. 

"I'm scared. Is that what you want to hear? You scare me. All of this scares me and I hate it," Adam whispered, rubbing his hands on his thighs, "I just don't know. And I'm sorry for hurting you. Maybe I should have just left."

Davey walked over to him and knelt in front of him. Gently he placed his hands on Adam's and looked up. "Why are you scared of me?"

"Because I shouldn't want this," he breathed, unable to look Davey in the eyes. 

"Why not?" Davey tilted his head to try and get eye contact. "What do you want?"

 _Lily back_ "I don't know. You're doing things to...I just...I shouldn't want you."

Davey's breath hitched. "You... you want me?"

Roughly, he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Yes...No..I don't know." He raised his eyes to Davey, "I just...I don't know."

Davey looked down. "I don’t want to replace her." 

"No one could replace her," Adam answered honestly.

Davey nodded and stood up. This was a mistake. He was still getting hurt and nothing was being resolved. This was pointless. 

"No," Adam whispered, "Please...I didn't mean..." he trailed off. 

"What, Adam? You hurt me every time you open your mouth. I can’t continuously feel this way. I want you. Despite you being an asshole, I fell in love and you break my heart a little more with every breath." 

"You don't know how hard this is for me, Davey. I can't just dive head first into this."

"I'm not asking you to. You don’t have to want me at all. I can just do as I've been doing and hide in my room." 

"You are asking me to, Davey. Whether you mean to or not, you are." Adam whispered. No matter what he did, how he examined things, it all traced back to one conclusion: Davey wanted him, wanted this. And Adam wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to give it.

"No, I'm not. You win. I'm done fighting you for you." 

The finality in his tone struck Adam. He was angry, tired. Sick of fighting. Sick of caring. Sick of being so afraid. Adam forced himself to his feet, standing directly in front of Davey, his lips just a fraction of an inch away from the shorter man's. "Is this what you want, Davey?" he hissed. Without waiting for a response, Adam roughly pulled Davey into a kiss. He couldn't think now. He refused to think. He just needed to feel.

Davey whimpered and stumbled back a bit, his arms instinctively going around Adam. ' _Yes, this is what I want_.' Davey pressed harder into the kiss, biting softly at his lips. 

Adam moaned into Davey's lips as the shorter man pressed against him. He couldn't deny this felt wonderful. His hands snaked through Davey's hair. A moment of panic flooded through Adam He didn't know what he was doing. Didn't know if he could take this where he knew it would lead. 

The feeling of Adam's hands in his hair sent a wave of pleasure through his body, starting at his head and ending between his thighs. He pressed a little harder into him, knowing Adam would be able to feel him, hoping it didn’t scare him.

The feel of Davey's erection pressing against his thigh jarred Adam for moment. This was real. He was holding another man, kissing another man. He was going to sleep with another man. Adam slammed his eyes shut, forcing all thought from his brain. He couldn't think on it now.

Davey pulled back. "I don’t want to force you. I want you to want this." His breathing was harsh and his eyes were closed still, reveling in the tingle on his lips. Adam pulled Davey roughly against him once more, silencing his protests with a kiss. Adam's body was on fire. He needed this. He would deal with the rest later.

Taking this as a yes, he reached between them and placed his fingertips in the top of Adam’s pants, tugging him down the hallway. Davey never broke the kiss, never wanted to. This was perfect.

Blindly, Adam allowed himself to be lead, drinking in the warmth of Davey's lips. So different from Lily's. So maddening. He couldn't get enough. He never wanted this to stop.

Davey lead Adam inside his room and to the bed, finally breaking the kiss to sit down on the edge. He looked up at him, his eyes dark, still slightly unsure. Slowly, he slid his hands under his T-shirt and placed his mouth to Adam's stomach. 

Adam sighed at the contact, threading his fingers through Davey's hair once more. "Oh God," he murmured, his head falling back.

Davey moved his hands to Adam's belt and slowly began to undo it, his mouth never leaving the soft warm skin of his stomach. Once undone, he undid the button and slid down the zipper. Adam was hard, he could see it. With burning eyes he looked up at Adam. "Can I?" 

Wordlessly, Adam nodded. The implications of Davey's position weren't lost on him and he wanted nothing more than to feel Davey's smooth lips around him. The warmth of his mouth surrounding him. A shiver of desire ran through him. 

Davey slowly slid his jeans over Adam’s hips, pulling his briefs down with them. His breath hitched the moment he saw Adam nude from the waist down. He was going to kill him. Davey looked up and smirked before taking him into his mouth, tasting him for the first time. 

A strangled moan fell from Adam's lips, pleasure jolting through him. "Fuck," he murmured, tightening his hold on Davey's hair. Davey's mouth felt divine around him. He wasn't going to last.

Slowly, he moved down Adam's length, his tongue swirling with each movement. He could taste the pre-come on the back of his throat and felt the tremble in Adam's body. He was going to have to stop if anything else was going to happen. Slowly, he pulled off of him and looked up. 

Adam shivered as he felt his cock slide further into Davey's mouth. God this was going to kill him. This was torture. Maddening, delicious torture. And he couldn't get enough. A sharp cry of protest flew from Adam's lips as Davey slowly backed away. "No," he pleaded. 

"What?" 

"Don't stop."

"You want to finish this way or inside of me?" 

Once again Adam shivered. If Davey's mouth drove him wild, how would it feel to be buried inside of him? That thought pulled a heavy moan from Adam's lips. "You," he breathed.

Not questioning, Davey slid up on the bed and took his shirt off, throwing it to the floor. He didn’t waste time in doing the same with his jeans. Before he realized it, he was naked and on the bed waiting for Adam. "I need you to prep me or if you need, I can do it."

Adam froze, his eyes wandering over Davey's nude form. He was exquisite, stunning. Shaking his head, he let Davey's words sink in. _Prep_. He knew the basic mechanics of all of this. He understood it. But this was foreign to him. All of it. "You," he managed to whisper, hoping Davey understood.

Davey nodded and reached over, grabbing lotion from the bedside table. After warming it on his fingers, he spread his legs on the bed, blushing a bit before sliding one long finger inside of himself. A soft whimper passed his lips as he braced himself with his free hand.

Adam couldn't tear his eyes away. Swallowing thickly, he watched as Davey slide his finger in and out of his body, shivering. Davey's soft whimper pulled a moan from his throat. Oh God, this was going to kill him.

Davey tossed his head back and moaned softly as he slid a second finger inside of himself, scissoring. He did his best to make a show of it, wanting Adam as turned on as possible. His short pants were growing louder and the moan he released after the third finger was inserted was harsher than the ones previous. 

Adam quickly tugged of his shirt, tossing it to join his jeans and boxers on the floor. Cautiously, he lowered himself onto the bed, the pleasure etched across Davey's face and the moans falling from his lips turning him on more than anything. Slowly, Adam leaned down, claiming Davey's lips with his own, swallowing each moan that fell from his lips.

Davey whimpered, removing his fingers and using the lotion to slick Adam. He wasn’t sure when Adam had removed the rest of his clothing, but at least they weren’t in the way now. He kissed back with more hunger and more passion than he had before, wanting to be filled by the man on top of him. "Make love to me," he whispered against his mouth. 

A whimper fell from Adam's lips, the feel of Davey's hand on his sensitive cock was maddening. Slowly, he processed Davey's words. _Make love_ , those words shook him to his core. He hadn't made love to anyone, not since Lily. He wasn't sure if he could. Shaking himself from his thoughts, he pressed his lips firmer against Davey's, settling himself on top of him. He could do this.

Without hesitance, Davey wrapped his legs around Adam and laid back on the bed. This was what he'd wanted. This felt right to him. What made it better was that he felt wanted. So many times he'd fallen for the wrong guy ended up hurt. They'd used him for his body and then left without a word. This would be different. He knew it.

Davey's legs wrapped around him pulled a moan from Adam's lips. This was real. He could feel the heat of the man beneath him, hear both of their harsh pants of breath. He was really going to do this. Momentary fear gripped him. He knew what to do in theory, yes. But knowing and doing were two drastically different things. 

Davey angled himself to where he could feel Adam pressing just outside of him. With darkened eyes he looked up. "Push in, it’s okay."

Slowly, Adam pressed his hips forward, pushing himself into Davey's tight body. A hiss of pleasure spilled from his lips. "Christ," he panted. 

Davey whimpered, arching more into Adam. He raised his head and buried it in his shoulder, wanting him to push more. 

"I don't want to hurt you," Adam breathed. He was so tight, Adam couldn't fathom how it _wouldn'_ t hurt him.

"You won’t; it’s okay." Davey panted against Adam's ear, lightly nibbling it. "Just go slow."

A shiver spread through Adam's body. His ears had always been sensitive. When they made love Lily would always make sure to whisper into them, tease them. Adam's breath hitched, his mind reeling. He slammed his eyes shut. No, he couldn't think about that. Not now. Steeling himself, he pushed the rest of the way into Davey's tight, warm body, moaning loudly.

Davey whimpered. Adam stretched him, filled him, and he knew it wouldn’t take long for him to reach his climax. Feeling a bit minx like, he clenched around his new lover, softly biting his neck when he did. 

A strangled sob erupted from Adam's throat, his hips snapping roughly into Davey's. Oh God. He was never going to last if Davey kept this up. He was going to embarrass himself.

As his release started to build, Davey began to thrust into Adam. He kissed his shoulder, biting every few kisses, and found himself scratching his long nails down Adam's back. 

Trying to prolong what was the inevitable, Davey rolled Adam over, straddling him. Slowly he pushed up on his chest and rolled his hips, riding him with his head tossed back. 

Pleasure rippled through Adam's body. His mind barely processed the change of position, all he cared about was the warm, tight body urging him closer to release. The man with dark eyes that made him melt inside. "Fuck," he panted, hands gripping Davey's waist tightly.

Davey hung his head, the angle on proving to be worse for prolonging. Adam was hitting his prostate dead on from where he was. "Oh God, Adam," he moaned. "I... fuck," he whimpered. "Touch me." 

Adam locked his eyes with Davey's, swallowing thickly. The pleasure the spread across his lover they were lovers now, he realized with a start drove him wild. Slowly, he wrapped his hand around Davey's cock, tracing the head with his fingertips, trying desperately to remember what drove him wild and imitate it the best he could.

Davey screamed out from the contact. Adam's hand on him was driving him crazy. He pulled up a moment and slammed himself back down onto the man below him, knowing it would get the reaction he wanted.

Adam screamed out in surprise, his grip tightening on Davey's cock. God, Davey was trying to kill him. "Fuck," he hissed, "Fuck."

Davey smirked and tossed his head back again, starting to come the minute he pressed down. "Oh God, now," he cried. 

A throaty moan spilled from Adam's lips as Davey's body clamped around his cock, becoming impossibly tighter around him. "Davey!" he hissed, pulsing helplessly inside him, his mind reeling. 

Feeling Adam come inside of him was more than he could take. He leaned down on Adam's chest, panting. Before he could even think straight, the words tumbled from his lips. "I love you." 

Davey's words yanked Adam violently back into reality. Oh God, what had he done? Panic filled his thoughts, his heart pounding. Davey couldn't love him. No, this wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.

Davey jerked up and looked at him, realizing what he'd said. He saw the panic in his eyes and knew he'd screwed up. "I'm sorry." 

Pulling himself back, Adam stared at Davey with wide, panicked eyes. "Don't," he hissed. "Just don't."

Davey’s eyes filled with tears and he rolled off Adam immediately. He was wrong. This was going to be just like the others. "I said I was sorry," he said, his voice breaking. He frantically looked for his clothes. 

Adam clutched his knees to his chest, face blank. Davey loved him. LOVED him. Oh God. The familiar panic bubbled in his chest. Just like Lily. She had loved him, given herself to him, and it cost Lily her life. Adam was too lost in his own mind to notice Davey's actions. 

Without thinking, Davey pulled his clothes on and ran from the room. He wanted nothing to do with Adam. He slid his shoes on and bolted out of the door. He didn’t care if he was killed. He'd only been out twice since this started, once to call his mother and once to sneak into the funeral of the man killed in the alley to see if he could identify anyone there. If he hadn’t been killed those times, he should be fine. Not that it mattered now. He just wanted to get as far away as he could. Away from Adam and the heart he'd just broken.


	10. Chapter Ten

Adam didn't see Davey scrambling frantically for his clothes. He didn't hear the front door of the apartment slamming closed. He didn't notice anything. He couldn't. He'd slept with Davey. Davey loved him. He was going to lose him, just like Lily. No, this couldn't be happening. God, this couldn't be happening.

Davey ran out into the night, but was too scared to run far. His sense hit him about the time the cold air did. Karn’s men could be watching. He stopped on the porch, leaning back against the door as the tears fell from his eyes. All of this was a huge mess. 

Running a shaky hand through his hair, Adam tried to calm his racing thoughts. He'd slept with Davey. He'd made himself vunerable, put Davey in danger. What had he done? 

Slowly the silence of the room began sinking into Adam's conscious thoughts. This wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to be this quiet. "Davey?" he managed to choke out, his eyes darting around the room. Dread seeped through his veins. Davey was gone.

Davey put his hand on the door knob, fixing to come back inside. Running wasn’t going to solve anything and it would probably just get him killed. Turning, he slowly opened the door and stepped inside, his head down. 

The soft jiggle of the door knob echoed through the apartment, forcing Adam to his feet. Fumbling for his boxers and his weapon, he stumbled from the room towards the front door. Anger, fear and guilt steadily thrummed through him.

Davey turned and closed the door, wiping tears from his eyes. He had no idea what he was going to say to Adam. He couldn’t apologize again. Not for loving him. He just should have never told him. 

Chest heaving and panic in his eyes, Adam turned into the livingroom, freezing as his eyes fell onto the door. Onto Davey. Relief flooded through him. He was okay. Davey was okay. Adam wanted to cry with happiness. But the feeling was short lived. Not a split second later, his anger had returned full force. "What the fuck were you thinking Marchand?! You could have fucking been killed!" 

Davey looked at him. "GOOD!" 

"Have you lost your fucking mind, Marchand?! We are this close to putting Karn away! This fucking close...Jesus Christ, did you even think?!" he hissed, dropping his weapon on the coffee table, his hands flying into the air.

Not knowing what to say or do, Davey tried to walk past him. Being yelled at wasn’t something he could handle right now, not from Adam. 

"No," Adam hissed, blocking Davey's path, "Do have any idea how much danger you are in? Any idea?"

Davey didn’t look at or answer him. His body shook but not from fear. He was holding back tears. 

Adam knew he wasn't handling this well. That he was hurting Davey. It unsettled him, but he had no other choice. If he let Davey in, if he allowed himself to care, he would lose Davey. They would get him. And he couldn't let that happen. Not again. "Look at me, dammit!"

Davey jerked his head up, tears in his eyes. "What?"

"You left. You put this trial, this case, you're LIFE in danger. You can't do that, Marchand. We've worked too hard for this. I've worked too hard for this!" Adam shouted, his fingers running through his hair once again. Why couldn't Davey see how stupid he'd been, how much danger he'd put himself in?

"But I came back. Now can you quit yelling at me or is this always your post fuck ritual?" 

"That has NOTHING to do with this and you damn well know it. I've worked too hard, sacrificed too much to risk all of it now." Those words were a lie and Adam knew it. What happened between them had everything to do with what he was feeling. How he was reacting. 

Davey looked away. "Well your tension should be relieved some. I imagine that’s what I was for." 

Adam's eyes narrowed, his heart aching. Davey's words cut. They burned. Adam wanted nothing more that to tell him he was wrong. Tell him that for the first time in three years he felt alive, happy. But he couldn't. He refused to put someone else in danger. He refused to be responsible for another innocent person's death. 

"I suppose your concerned now because you lose your in-house fuck if I die right?" 

"Don't. What happened has NOTHING to do with any of this. NOTHING." 

"Why did you? If you don’t want me, why did you fuck me?” 

Adam closed the distance between their bodies, hating all of this. "You wanted it," he told him, his voice cold and mocking. This wasn’t him. God, this wasn’t him.

Davey had never felt cheaper in his entire life. Not only had the two being together mean nothing to Adam, but it was a pity fuck. He took a deep breath and covered his mouth with his hand, a tear falling down over his cheek. "I... I thought that..." He couldn’t even finish the sentence. He pushed his way passed Adam, running to his room. 

Adam felt his heart break, his eyes following Davey's form as he tore past him and sprinted back towards his room. "I'm sorry," he whispered. This was for the best. He had to believe that or he'd fall apart.

Davey ran into his room, met with the rustled sheets from their earlier romp. He couldn’t stay in here. How could he possibly sleep here now? Feeling completely broken and tired, he leaned against the wall, finally letting the tears fall and the sobs out. He couldn’t hold it back anymore.

Davey's sobs echoed from his room. Each one tearing at Adam's heart. He'd never felt so vile, so low. Davey loved him and he'd thrown it back in his face. He'd treated him like a whore. Adam felt ill. _It's for the best_ , he repeated over and over again in his mind. _For the best_. Then why did he feel so horrid?

Davey looked up, the tears falling down the side of his face and into his hair. "I fucking hate you!" He screamed. 

Adam swallowed thickly, Davey's words like a slap. He deserved this, he knew it. But it didn't make it hurt any less. Didn't make all of this hurt any less. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, his voice wavering. 

The longer Davey sat there, the angrier he got. How dare Adam use him this way? How dare he make him feel as if he didn’t matter? Wiping his tears he got up and stormed out of the room, back down the hall and into the living room. Roughly, he shoved Adam back. "Fuck you! I can see why you're alone. You are a fucking piece of shit. If I were her I would have left your ass too." 

Something snapped inside of Adam. His blue eyes darkened, anger boiling within him. "You fucking son of a bitch!" Adam hissed, venom dripping from each word. 

Davey took a step back, his eyes widening. Adam was angry and he couldn’t remember for the life of him if he'd ever seen him so mad. 

"You don't know the first FUCKING thing about that. NOTHING! Do you fucking hear me?! How fucking DARE YOU?!" he screamed, his arm flinging back violently. How dare he? 

Lily was his life. His everything. He would have given everything he had for her. Everything. And he lost her. Lost everything. How dare Davey say anything about her? How dare he mock what happened. Mock her death. 

Davey turned his head, flinching. Adam was going to hit him. He braced for it the best he could, his body shaking. 

Adam's fist shook violently, Lily's face flashing before his eyes. Her smile. Her laugh. Those images melted from his mind’s eye, giving way to her cold, unmoving body lying in their livingroom. Her blank eyes, the horror frozen across her face. A sob erupted from Adam's throat, his body shaking as he collapsed onto the floor in tears. 

Davey opened one eye and turned to look down. There was something deeper that he'd touched on and he wasn’t sure what it was. All he knew was that he'd fucked up in saying what he did. Slowly he kneeled down on the floor next to Adam, lightly touching his hair. "Adam?" 

Adam jerked away from Davey's touch violently. "Don't!" he hissed. He was shaking, the tears streaming down his face. 

"Adam... I didn’t mean to..." 

Adam's head jerked up, his stormy, broken eyes locking on Davey's "Don't!" He swallowed thickly, wanting nothing more than to die. "I hate you." he whispered, "I hate you." 

Davey looked down and nodded. "I need to get out." he whispered. Davey pushed himself up and walked out of the door. He didn’t care what Adam said and he figured he wouldn’t be stopped. He just wanted to get away. Adam hated him. He'd said it. He meant it. Tonight was a mistake and it was one that Davey was going to have to deal with. 

Adam felt him leave, heard the door close. He didn't care. Not now. Pain clutched his chest, radiating throughout his entire body. He never should have slept with Davey. Never should have kissed him. Never should have let him in. He was a fool. A stupid, fucking fool. 

Davey wasn’t sure where he was going or what he was doing. Everything was a blur and his heart hurt with every step he took. He didn’t care at this point whether he came back alive or dead. Dead would be better than how he felt right now.


	11. Chapter Eleven

"Carson!" Schultz's rough voice bellowed from inside the apartment, "What the hell are you doing?"

Adam paid him no mind, pushing off of the brick wall and making his way back into the apartment. Tucking his phone into his side pocket, he brushed past his commanding officer, earning a slew of curses and threats from the angered man, and bolted from the apartment. He had to get to Davey. He wouldn't let himself think past that. Think of what that monster had done to Davey...to Lily. If he did, he'd fall apart and that wasn't an option.

*-*-*

Davey stared at Cole as he paced around the room. He waited patiently for Adam but the thought of what would happen once he got there terrified Davey to his very core. Once the three of them were in the same room, this man wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him. That was his intention.

A slow smile spread across Cole's face. He could sense Davey's growing fear, how he tried to mask it. Yes, this should be fun. "He'll be here soon, David. Don't you worry your pretty little head about that."

"Why do you want him here so badly? He has nothing to do with why you want to kill me!" he protested, struggling against the bonds.

Cole made his way slowly to the bed, running his fingers through Davey's tangled hair, yanking roughly on it, "Oh, but he has everything to do with this. I'm going to destroy him, and by doing that, I'll destroy you as well. Two birds with one stone. Quite a clever idea, don't you think?" He punctuated his question with a sharp tug. 

A sharp hiss left Davey's lips and he shut his eyes, defiantly jerking his head away. He wanted no parts of this man touching him.

"So defiant, David," he breathed, letting his free hand trace along Davey's jaw. "I like that about you. You're fire. Most would have given up by now," he paused, chuckling, "But not you. I'm so glad I'll be the one to finish you off. You're a worthy kill."

"Fuck you!" Davey hissed, his eyes seething.

A hearty chuckle tumbled from Cole's lips, "All in due time, David. All in due time." 

Davey froze, his eyes widening. "Don’t," he pleaded. 

Cole merely smiled, allowing his fingers to trace along Davey's lower lip, "So scared, David. What happened to that fire? You certainly seemed full of it last night. I wonder what Adam would think, what he would do if I fucked you." Roughly, he gave another sharp tug to Davey's hair, "It would kill him, wouldn't it?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Mmm, yes. I'm looking forward to this."

"You are going to strip me of everything aren’t you?" Davey whispered.

"So smart, David," he taunted, giving one final tug before releasing his hair. "I do hope your Adam arrives soon. I'd hate to have to start the fun without him."

Davey stared at Cole as he pulled himself off of the bed. His arms were stiff from being held in this position. However, one question plagued him. "Why did you watch us?"

"To find your weaknesses," Cole answered, letting his eyes roam over Davey's restrained body, smiling. "And I must say, how touching." 

"What was?" 

Cole simply shook his head, "You disappoint me, David. You really do."

"I don’t want to play games,” Davey snapped, “What are you talking about?" 

Cole sighed, letting his hand trace over Davey's cheek, smiling as the man cringed at the contact, "Your weaknesses. I'm not surprised at yours, you have grown attached to Adam haven't you? But his...I'm quite touched actually. Surprised he let you in enough to become a weakness. Especially after poor Lily." He chuckled, "Some people never learn."

Davey looked down, not acknowledging his question. Yes, he had become quite attached to Adam. How could he not? He was his protector. He spent every day with him. They were lovers, even if it was only for one night. 

"So sweet. It's a pity nothing more will come of it, isn't it David?" Cole shook his head, "Such a pity."

"Oh you're so fucking heartbroken. You've never loved a thing in your life. You kill for fun. For sport you crazy son of a bitch," he hissed. 

Roughly, Cole's hand cracked across Davey's face. "I applaud your effort, David. Really I do. Trying to find my weakness. Now why don't you just lay and think about what you'll say to Adam. What you want your final words to be. Make them worth it, won't you? The man's been through enough," he taunted with a smile.

Davey's face turned to the side from the hard blow. Tears sprang to his eyes and he turned to look at Cole, no longer daring to speak.

"Such lovely tears," Cole began, allowing the pad of his thumb to wipe them away. "I wonder if he'd agree."

Davey shut his eyes and waited for Adam to get arrive. One way or another, this was going to be over soon.

*-*-*

Adam's eyes scanned the alley ahead. Nothing. The area was deserted, save the occasional scurrying rat. It was the perfect place for Cole to be hiding and Adam knew it. Why hadn't he considered that? Considered the fact that the remote location of the safe house was a blessing and a curse. They’d let him in, gave him the perfect ground. Why hadn’t he considered it?

*-*-*

Cole paced back and forth, his eyes darting out of the window scanning the alley below, spotting Adam at last. A slow smile spread across his face. "Lover boy is here."

*-*-*

Adam paused at the tall building before him, scanning it for movement, possible exits, anything that could aid him in getting Davey out. There was a fire escape on the north side of the building, he noted. One plausible escape route. It wasn't much, but it was something.

His hand rested on the handle of his weapon as he slowly made his way up the concrete steps, heart pounding in his chest. This was it. Carefully, he turned the turned the handle of the main door, pushing it open. No turning back now.

*-*-*

Cole walked over to Davey and sat down beside him. Davey had slipped unconscious, thanks to a bit of sleeping medication Cole had given him in his water. He placed the barrel of his gun against Davey's temple and waited.

*-*-*

A quick can of the landing insured that all was clear. Taking that into consideration, Adam silently made his way towards the large, worn staircase. Bracing himself against the wall, he slowly ascended each flight of stairs, scanning the hallways of each floor he passed.

The soft scuffling that caught his ear as he neared the four floor told Adam all he needed to know. Drawing his weapon, he snuck down the darkened hallway towards the door at the very end of the hall. Cocking his weapon, Adam whispered a prayer, something he hadn't done in years, then kicked the wooden door, sending it slamming against the inner wall of the room. "Drop your weapon," he yelled, voice nearly cracking as his eyes fell upon Davey's unconscious form. Please God, he prayed, don’t let it be too late.

Cole smiled and cocked his gun. "I don’t think so, Carson. You drop yours. We play by my rules now."

"Drop it," Adam hissed again, hands threatening to tremble. No, he had to keep his focus. He had to get Davey out. Had to save him. To succeed where he'd failed with Lily. He had to. 

Cole shook his head with amusement. "Carson, you amaze me. I can pull this trigger right now," he said squeezing it just a bit.

"You wouldn't live long enough to pull it," Adam shot back, praying that his Marine training still held true. A part of his mind was screaming that this was crazy. That he was risking Davey's life, that he was being a fool. ‘ _You had to think crazy to catch a crazy_ ,’ Schultz had told him once. And he was certainly thinking crazy now.

"Aw, so brave. So strong. Too bad you didn’t do all this for Lily." Cole teased, a smirk spreading across his features.

Adam's eyes darkened, "You leave her out of this," he warned, his aim never faltering. "She has nothing to do with this."

"She has everything to do with this. I had her, Adam. Right before I killed her." He taunted.

Cole's words echoed through his mind. _Had her?_ No. He knew what this bastard was up to. Knew what he was trying to pull and he refused to fall for it. "I know what you're trying to do," Adam hissed, his voice even only due to years of training "It's not going to work." 

Cole tilted his head to the side. "You only hope I'm lying. I fucked her and she screamed the entire time," he said lowly before turning his attention to Davey. "He didn’t scream as much though. I was disappointed."

"You're lying," Adam hissed, his heart pounding in his chest. No, he had to be lying. He had to be.

"Really?" Cole paused. "If I am lying, then how do I know about the unicorn tattoo on her hip? She was clothed when you found her." 

Adam froze for a moment, his blood turning to ice. "No," he steeled himself once more, "That proves nothing. There are a hundred ways you could have known about that," he hissed. _Please let him be bluffing_. 

"What about your fingerprints on her thighs from where you had her that morning?"

The gun shook in his hands, matching the way he shook his head in disbelief. "No," he croaked out. "No." 

"No, Adam. Yes...So nice... So tight. Perfect. I can see why you liked her so much." He smiled deviously. Though he hadn’t fucked Davey, Adam didn’t know that. "No, he, he was different. He just let me. No fight. Nothing. Lily fought. Screamed for you."

Adam shook his head, "No. You're lying. You never touched her. I would have known if you touched her. They would have TOLD me,” he hissed, eyes never leaving Cole. “And you never touched him. Stop. Lying." Anger and fear bubbled through him. 

"They didn’t tell you because they knew you couldn’t handle it. And if you don’t believe me about him..." he said sliding his hand to the button of Davey's jeans and undoing them quickly, sliding his hand inside. Davey never moved, still out from the medication. 

"Don't. Touch. Him," Adam hissed, steadying his weapon, aiming directly at Cole's heart. "They would have fucking told me," he echoed once more. 

"No, they wouldn’t have. Not that. Ask Schultz. Call him. Ask him."

Davey slowly began to stir, Cole's hand still in his pants. He could feel the heat, for a moment believing it was Adam’s touch, and bucked up, moaning. The drugs still very much in his system.

The moan spilling from Davey's lips startled Adam, his eyes darkening. "Don't touch him." He refused to lower his weapon, refused to back down. 

Cole smirked. "He likes it," he whispered. He knew in his mind that hearing Adam's voice in the room had probably messed with Davey's head, but he wanted to play with it. Cole turned, leaning down and placing his mouth on Davey's. He was even more pleased when Davey kissed him back. 

"Stop it," Adam hissed, not believing the sight before him. There had to be some explanation. Something. "Leave him alone you fucking son of a bitch!"

Cole smirked against Davey's mouth and started to stroke his cock. With each movement, Davey arched into his hand, panting. 

Adam could feel himself trembling. No, this wasn't right. Something was wrong. Davey wouldn't do this. Not with this monster. "I said STOP!"

"Adam," Davey moaned. Cole slid his hand down further, angered by the name and pushed a finger roughly inside him. Davey screamed, his eyes shooting open. 

"You bastard," Adam hissed, dropping his weapon and charging at the man. This was stupid, dangerous, this could get him killed and Adam knew it. He just didn't care.

Cole caught him and grabbed his arms, causing both to tumble to the floor. "Don't be stupid, Adam."

"You fucking bastard," Adam hissed, shoving Cole violently away, before scrambling towards Davey. Davey stared at him, his eyes filled with tears. Adam reached out to brush his fingers along Davey's arm, needing to assure himself that Davey was alright. Steeling himself once more, Adam turned towards Cole, his eyes dark. 

Cole pulled out another gun from the back of his pants and pointed it at them both. "This is too easy." 

Adam pushed himself to his feet, "I won't let you get away with this," he hissed. A quick glance told him his weapon lay a good five feet from where he stood. Even with lightning fast reflexes, he'd never be able to reach it in time.

Cole smirked. "What's a guy to do?" 

"Do it then," Adam challenged, continuing towards Cole, making sure to keep himself between the man and Davey at all times. He was willing to risk his life but he wouldn't dare risk Davey's. He refused to lose another person he loved God, he loved him to this monster. Losing Lily had nearly killed him. He refused to lose Davey as well.

Cole cocked his weapon and pointed it at Davey's legs, shooting just below them to where he hit the bed. Davey screamed, for a brief moment thinking he was hit. 

"Leave him alone. I'm the one you really want," Adam shouted, moving between Cole and the bed, "I'm the one you want."

"No, you are the fucking bonus. He is the one I want." 

Adam remained where he stood, staring Cole down defiantly. "You'll have to go through me first."

"Fine," he said, raising the gun. He aimed at Adam's thigh, something to bring him down but not kill him. He wanted him to see Davey die first. Quickly he pulled the trigger, the bang echoing throughout the room. 

A scream erupted from Adam's throat as he felt the bullet rip through his leg. White hot, blinding pain raced through him. Gritting his teeth, he fell back slightly on the bed, refusing to move any farther. No, he couldn't let him win. Not again. He'd rather die.

Davey screamed, his eyes widening. "Adam!" Oh God. Adam was shot. Fuck. He jerked harshly at the ropes on the bed that bound his arms. "Let me go." His voice was loud, desperate. 

Cole smirked. Perfect. "Still so strong. My, my Adam. Trying to make up for last time. Make up for letting Lily die? How noble of you."

Adam hissed in pain, his eyes darkening, "Leave her out of this you fucking asshole."

Davey trembled in fear, still pulling at the ropes. His wrists burned and he could have sworn that they were bleeding. 

Cole's lips curled into a full smile, "Now why would I want to do that?" he asked, "Do you know she fought me to the very end? Such fight. An animal, really. I wonder how you kept up with her every night."

Adam's blood boiled, "You fucking BASTARD," he hissed, trying desperately to push himself to his feet. "You never touched her."

Cole smirked. "Yes I did, and deep down you know I did. She died with me inside of her." He walked slowly over to Davey with his gun at his side. 

Dread coursed through his veins, his mind fighting valiantly against Cole's words. He didn't want to believe it. He couldn't let himself believe it. But Schultz had been tight lipped about so many aspects of the case. Adam had to fight tooth and nail to get the details he'd gotten. Red tore through his vision. "I'll fucking KILL you," he screamed, lunging at Cole.

Cole jumped back and placed the gun against Davey's heart. "Don’t. Fucking. Try it. I can shoot him here and end the pain you caused him."

Adam fell roughly against the floor, eyes wide and chest heaving. No. He wouldn't be responsible for another death. "Let him go."

"He's my mark. He has to go." 

Adam shot a quick glance at Davey, noting the fear in his eyes. He offered a small smile before turning back to Cole. "You're a smart man, I know you are. You wouldn't have made it this far if you weren't. Let me make you a deal," Adam began, looking directly into Cole's eyes. This was insane, but he no choice.

Cole stared at him, shaking his head. "There isn’t a deal you can make with me." 

"Just hear me out, what will it hurt?" Adam reasoned.

Cole nodded, amused by his desperation. 

"He didn't want to come forward. Didn't want a part in any of this. Just let him go. We forced him into this. I forced him into this. He'll just forget this happened. Forget what he saw. Take me instead. My life for his." 

"Adam, no," Davey screamed.

"That's my offer. Take me. Spare him," Adam repeated, ignoring Davey's cry.

"And how do I explain that to my boss?" 

"He'll disappear. One word from Schultz and the FBI can put him into hiding. David Marchand won't exist anymore." 

"He means nothing to me. Why would I want to save him?"

"Because you get me. I'm more of threat to Karn than Davey ever was. I know things. Names, people. Things Karn doesn't want known. Things I haven't shared with anyone."

Cole paused and thought about it. He cocked the gun. "It can’t be like that."

"Yes it can. No one has to know. Just let him go." Adam insisted. This was crazy, he knew it was. But if it saved Davey. Got him out of there, Adam didn't care.

Cole smirked. He'd wanted to kill Davey, wanted to have the look on Adam's face embedded in his mind forever. He didn’t think that this deal was worth losing that, but he could make it sweeter. Make them think they'd won and just take it away quicker and without them knowing it was coming. 

"Do we have a deal?" Adam questioned, the smirk on Cole's face unsettling him more than anything. He was playing Russian roulette here and he knew it. But if it saved Davey it would be worth it in the end.

Cole grinned. Deception could be fun. "Deal."


	12. Chapter Twelve

With a smirk, Cole allowed his eyes to wander over Adam's bleeding form, lowering his weapon. "Such a brave man," he taunted, allowing the fingers of his free hand to brush along Davey's chest, "Trying to save him. Pity you didn't do the same for Lily. But then again, if you had I wouldn't have gotten to know how good of a fuck she was."

Adam's eyes darkened, "Let him go," he hissed. He wouldn't let Cole get to him. Wouldn't let him win. Not again. 

Davey eyes shot to Cole. "You said you would let us go. Please," he pleaded. His heart was beating rapidly and he couldn’t decide if it was fear or happiness from the possibility of leaving. He just wanted away. "Please." 

Cole chuckled, shaking his head. "We? Oh no, David. I agreed to let you go...Your lover here,” be started, smirking at Adam, “he's mine. His life for yours. What a foolishly noble gesture." His fingers traced over Davey's jaw. Davey’s eyes narrowed and he bit at Cole’s hand. "Oh now, David. Why so vicious? You should be grateful. He's giving up his life for you."

Davey looked down and then allowed his gaze to wander towards Adam, his eyes pleading with him to reconsider. He couldn’t live his life without Adam. Tears stung the corners of his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to kiss Adam and to be held by him.

Adam turned his eyes away from Davey, focusing on the floor beside him. He couldn't hold his gaze, not if he wanted to go through with this. 

"How touching," Cole chuckled, "How very touching."

"Go to Hell," Davey spat, his eyes and voice full of venom.

"Davey," Adam whispered, "Please just stop." Davey looked at him. He hated to see Adam cowering, giving into this monster. Slowly he turned his head away, facing the opposite wall. 

Davey's subtle actions tore at Adam's heart. Why couldn't Davey understand that this was his last ditch effort to save his life. He didn't have another choice. Even now he wasn't sure this would work. But he had to try. For both of their sakes, he had to try.

Cole chuckled, watching the exchange. This was better than he could have planned. This divide forming between the two men. Yes, he could use this to his advantage.

A tear slowly trailed down Davey’s cheek, and he fought desperately to stop them, trying not to show he was crying. 

"So brave," Cole breathed. "Is that why you fucked him, Adam?"

"Shut up," Adam hissed.

"Struck a nerve did I? It's what you loved about Lily wasn't it? She was such a brave one...Up to the very end. I had bruises and scratches for weeks," he paused, smirking, "Best fuck I had in a long while." His attention focused back on Davey, "Yes, I see just why he chose you."

"That's not why," Davey whispered, his voice quivering. After what Adam had said, he really didn’t have the strength to tell Cole he was wrong. Adam had said he felt nothing for him. The only reason he was saving his life was because he was a job, not love. 

"He never told you about her, did he?" Cole mused, his eyes roaming over Adam's seething form. 

"Leave her out of this," Adam snapped, trying to focus on the man standing before him. His head was spinning and he could feel himself growing weaker. 

Davey looked at Adam. "Tell me." His voice was soft. He needed to hear it from Adam. 

Adam slowly raised his eyes towards Davey, tears blurring his vision. "I...I can't," he whispered. His eyes begged Davey to not push this. Not to push him.

"She's why you can’t love me, isn’t she?" Davey whispered.

"She was lovely. Bright eyes, dark hair. Beautiful smile, charming laugh. Your lover had good taste. Very good taste," Cole cut in, eyes locking on Adam's before flitting back to Davey, "He got too close to Karn, he had to pay. And what better way to make him pay than to take away the one thing that matter the most."

Davey stared at him, his eyes darkening once again. "You really are a monster." 

A soft chuckle fell from Cole’s lips, "You flatter me, David. Really." Turning, he faced Adam once more, "Do you still have the ring, Adam? I know how you struggled trying to find the perfect one. Took you weeks."

"You fucking bastard!" Adam hissed, trying to push himself to his feet only to stumble backwards.

"It's a shame she never got to see it. It really was a lovely ring. Would have fit her perfectly."

Davey's jaw dropped, his eyes locking on Adam’s shaking form. "Oh my God. Adam I am so sorry. If I had known..." 

"Stop," Adam hissed, "Just stop." Anger boiled through him. He wanted to shut down, wanted to block it all away. But he couldn’t not if he wanted to save Davey. Not if he wanted to end this.

"Now, now, Adam. There's no need to snap. It's not his fault you couldn't save her." 

Davey looked away, hurt that the same venom was still present.

Cole smiled, his eyes shining. Adam glared at the man standing before him, anger, pain and guilt surging through him. "Stop it!" he hissed, "Just let him go."

"Now, now, Adam, no need to get snippy," Cole teased.

Davey glared at Cole. "Just leave him alone." 

"You're in no position to tell me what to do, David." Cole began, turning his attention back to Davey once more. He allowed his fingers to tangle through Davey's hair, tugging roughly.

"Let him go!" Adam hissed, still trying to get himself up.

Cole chuckled, "So demanding." 

Davey looked at him, hissing. "Let me go. You said you would."

Smirking, Cole traced the gun that had been resting at his side, against Davey's cheek. "Patience, David. I'm not quite done with you yet."

"Do what you are planning and get it over with," Davey snapped. 

Cole chuckled, "Temper, temper, David." The barrel of the gun pressed against Davey's lips. "It's not very becoming."

Adam struggled slowly towards the bed, swinging his good leg out towards Cole. He needed to get him away from Davey. 

With a shake of his head, Cole pointed the gun towards Adam, cocking it, his attention never wavering from Davey’s bound form. "No, no. Don't even think about it. You wouldn't want to put Davey though your hell would you?"

Davey’s eyes locked on Adam and then slowly onto Cole. "What do you want with me?" 

"You know what I want from you..Unfortunately, I'll simply have to settle for destroying him. What do you think, David. Does he look good in red?" 

Davey looked at him knowing full well what he meant. "If I give it will you let us both go?" 

Cole chuckled, "I've made this man a promise...It's been far too long since I've had worthy blood on my hands. You wouldn't want to rob me of that would you?"

Davey’s gaze fell on Adam once more. "I can’t watch him die. Please."

Adam swallowed thickly, his eyes locking on Davey's before falling on Cole once again, "Let him go. That was the deal. You let him go, you get me."

Cole shook his head, "Oh no. You simply said if I agreed to release him, you were mine. I agreed, I never said I would let him go before I killed you. What better way to guarantee his silence than by ending your life right here, right now?"

Tears welled in Davey’s eyes. "Please don’t,” Davey begged, “I'll give you what you want, just please don’t." His eyes locked on Coles, a tear falling from them. 

Cole merely shook his head, lowering the gun to Adam's chest. "A shot to the heart. Wouldn't that be poetic?"

Adam pushed himself up, pressing his chest against the gun, his eyes dark and defiant. "Do it then," he hissed. "Pull that trigger." 

Davey closed his eyes and sobbed silently. "Adam, please." 

Cole smirked, raising the gun to Adam's shoulder before pulling the trigger. Adam jerked backwards, hissing in pain, before collapsing against the floor. "Don't test me, Adam," he raised the gun once more, taking aim at Adam's other shoulder and pulled the trigger once again. 

Davey screamed and thrashed on the bed. "You son of a bitch!"

Cole, smiled, turning his attention back to Davey. "Such a mouth, David." He roughly traced the hot metal of the gun against Davey's cheek.

Pain shot through Adam's body, blackness tinging his vision. He could vaguely hear Davey's cries, the anger and the pain in his voice.

"What the hell do you want? Stop torturing us both." Davey screamed, trashing about wildly. He needed to get free. Needed to get help.

"This is just what I want, David. Now why would I stop?"

Davey lowered hid eyes. "I'll give you me if you don’t hurt him anymore. Willingly and I'll enjoy it. Please." 

"Where's the fun in that, David? I'd much rather take it than have it offered." A cruel smile formed on Cole’s lips, his eyes falling to Adam's bleeding form. "I wonder if he'll scream the way she did?"

Davey’s eyes widened. "I can fight you just don’t hurt him." 

Cole shook his head, "Oh no, I've got a much better idea in mind." He smirked once more at the bound man before turning his attention towards Adam. 

Lowering himself to one knee, he traced the gun along the waist of Adam's pants. Adam whimpered, unable to find the strength to move or pull away. Boldly, Cole dipped the gun beneath the waistband, smirking as Adam jerked beneath it.

Davey stared at them, eyes wide in fear. Needing to get him away from Adam, Davey screamed to the top of his lungs. Pleading for help, for anything.

Cole's free hand worked the fastening of Adam's pants loose, smirking as Davey screamed behind him. "That won't do you any good." Roughly, he tugged the offending garment from Adam's body, smirking at Adam's lack of underwear. "You must have done a number on him, David. And I can see why." 

Davey tugged hard on the ropes restraining him, hoping to loosen them. He had to get to Adam. He'd been shot three times. He couldn’t fight this man off him. Davey could feel the rope burning his skin and the raw feeling of it. He stopped the screams and locked eyes with Adam. 

Fear coursed through Adam. He could feel Cole's hands on him. Feel the warm metal of the gun tracing along his thighs. Looking up, he swallowed thickly, trying to struggle against Cole and failing. He'd lost too much blood. It was hopeless. Pain. All he could sense was blinding pain. A raw scream flew from his throat, his eyes locking on Davey's, as he felt the barrel of the gun force its way inside of him.

Davey whimpered and closed his eyes. He knew what it felt like to be entered unprepared and he knew it had to be worse with an unforgiving object. He knew Adam had never received. That this was his first experience with a man. Tears flew down his cheeks as he listened. "You sick fuck," he spat.

Cole smiled, shoving the weapon in deeper, delighting in the screams erupting from Adam's throat. "So much like Lily," he hissed, slamming the gun harder into him, "She screamed just like you are."

Tears spilled from Adam's eyes as he struggled against Cole, pain and humiliation swirling within him. Anger flooded through him as Cole's words sunk in and he fought desperately to shove Cole off of him. 

Davey desperately clawed at the ropes that bound his arms. His fingers could touch but they weren’t doing much good. He jerked his feet as hard as he could off the bed, pulling at the material. One was loosening, he could feel it and if he could get his foot free, he could kick the man away. 

Cole roughly jerked his arm, loving the way Adam struggled beneath him. He could feel himself hardening, pleasure coursing through him. "Do you think he'd scream if I pulled the trigger now, David?" he didn't bother waiting for a response, "I bet he would. And it would be such a painful way to go, wouldn't you say?" 

"NO! You wanted me to begin with. Come on! I'm right fucking here! You want to get him, fuck me right in front of him! Seeing you hurt me will scar him worse!" Davey shouted, struggling against his restraints. He had to get Cole off of Adam. He had to think of someway. Davey paused. "Unless your dick is so small I wouldn’t feel it anyway."

Cole's head whipped around, his eyes darkening. "Oh I plan on fucking you, David. And you will feel it. But now," he hissed with a smile, "But now, now I think it's time to finish him." Silently, he cocked the gun. "Say goodbye, David."

"Wait!" Davey screamed, his chest heaving.

Cole paused, turning back towards Davey, his eyebrows cocking, "Something you want, David?"

"Let me kiss him good bye," he pleaded. 

"And to do that, I would have to untie you," Cole began, his eyes narrowing, "Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"Please. I love him. Please." 

Cole chuckled, "How touching."

Anger flashed through Davey and he yanked the ropes on his hands hard enough to snap one of them. 

Cole's eyes snapped back towards Davey. "You really want to try that, David? You know, just one slip of my finger and I could end his life."

Davey looked at Adam. What was he supposed to do? "If you pull the trigger that’s the last bullet and I will be out of these ropes in no time. You kill him, I go to the cops." 

"It may be the last bullet, David, but it will be the end of his life. Do you really want his blood on your hands?"

"His blood is on my hands regardless. His life for mine. What can I give you that will change your mind?"

A soft chuckle feel from Cole's lips, "So noble, David. I'm impressed."

"Have you ever been in love?" Davey queried, his voice wavering slightly.

"It won't work, David, and you know it. Though, I must admit, seeing you grasping at straws is amusing."

"I'm serious,” Davey pleaded, “ Put yourself in my place. I love him. What would you do?"

Cole merely shook his head, "I applaud your effort, really I do."

"Goddamn it! Don’t hurt him anymore. Please!"

"That isn't your call, David," Cole answered, his attention returning to the man beneath him.

"I'm begging you." 

"That means nothing to me," Cole countered, shaking his head. 

Davey leaned his head back, sobbing. All of the fear, the anger finally pouring out. There was nothing he could do to stop it. He couldn’t bare to look at Adam. He just wanted to die. This man had won. He'd completely broken him.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Davey could hear Cole’s voice, but he couldn’t look at him anymore. Looking at Cole meant looking at Adam and he was covered in blood and barely moving now. His body trembled. In his head he was screaming for it all to end but he had no more energy or fight to stop it. 

Adam's hisses of pain slowly faded to soft whimpers. His mind clouded and a chill swept over his body. Tears trailed down his cheeks, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as he tried desperately to block out the pain. Block out everything. Adam wanted nothing more than do die. Anything but endure this any longer.

Cole could feel Adam slipping out of consciousness, his body no longer resisting the brutal invasion. A sneer of disgust feel from his lips as his eyes wandered over Adam's limp form. No, this wouldn't do. Violently, he shoved the gun in farther. No response. "Well, David," he began, his voice cold and even, "Looks like lover couldn't take it."

Davey turned, his eyes blank. His movements were liquid and he stared at Cole, then at Adam’s lifeless body. He wasn’t sure if Adam was alive or dead and he didn’t want to ask. He couldn’t handle knowing. He closed his eyes to listen closely and could barely hear Adam breathing. Davey didn’t say a word , turning his head back towards the wall to avoid looking at the two of them on the floor.

"What's the matter, David?" Cole taunted, "Sorry you never got a taste? It's a shame really. He certainly could take it." Davey didn’t move or utter a word. He refused to even look at him. 

Pushing himself from the floor, Cole made his way to the side of the bed. "Now, now, David. What did I tell you about turning away from me?" Roughly, he threaded his hand through Davey's hair, yanking him back around. Slowly, very slowly, he traced the blood tinged barrel of the gun over Davey's cheek, inching it closer to his lips. 

Davey glared at him. He couldn’t help the tears that fell from the corners of his eyes and although he had one hand free, he didn’t have the energy to lift it to do anything. 

"Where's that spark, David? That fire? I know you have it in you."

Davey turned his eyes towards Adam’s lifeless form and then back at the man above him. His was careful to avoid the barrel of the gun and cautiously watched it when he moved. He knew Adam's blood was on it, almost positive that there was some of it on his cheek now. "I hate you," he whispered. 

Cole smiled, his eyes wandering over the bound man's body. He pressed the gun against Davey's cheek, tracing it down and along his jaw line before drifting back up and tracing it firmly against his lips. "Open wide," he taunted.

Davey turned his head away. "Go to hell."

Fingers still laced in his hair, Cole yanked Davey's head back towards him. "Oh no, David. There's no need to play shy." Roughly, he pressed the gun past Davey's lips, smirking, "Don't you at least want a taste of him?"

Davey whimpered and clenched his eyes shut. The metal of the gun and the bitter taste of Adam's blood mixed on his tongue and he thought he would throw up. He raised his hand to the back of Cole's head and grabbed his hair, pulling. 

Cole hissed at the pain radiating across his scalp. "Naughty boy," he whispered. shoving the gun in farther. "Try that again...I dare you."

Davey glared at him and quickly moved his hand, clawing at his arm to try and pull the gun away. 

An angered his flew from Cole's lips as Davey's nails dug into his arm. Violently, he jerked back. "You little bitch," he hissed, eyes seething.

Feeling somewhat at an advantage, Davey reached for him, grabbing for his throat. He couldn’t do much with one hand, but he could try.

Cole snarled as he felt Davey's hand clawing at his throat. Violently, he jumped backwards, freeing himself from Davey's grasp. The back of his foot slammed against Adam's side, sending him tumbling to the ground, the gun flying from his hand.

Davey scrambled for his other hand to undo the rope. Violently, he jerked at it. He needed to get both of his hands free. Short, desperate pants and whimpers fell from his lips. His arms were sore, his wrists were bruised, but this was his only chance. 

Slightly dazed, Cole rolls himself over onto his knees, his eyes scrambling across the room for the gun. Anger boiled within him. No one did this to him and lived. And this would certainly be no exception.

Davey got his other arm free and sat up to work on his feet. He could see Cole out of the corner of his eyes but he concentrated more on just getting his feet untied. 

A chuckle of triumph fell from Cole's lips as his eyes fell upon the gun. It had landed beside the dresser on the far right hand side of the room. Hastily, he stumbled towards it. Davey wasn't gong to get away with this.

Davey struggled with the knots around his feet, but he managed to get one foot undone. He was almost free and if he could get free he could fight off Cole.

With grim determination, Cole's fingers wrap around the handle of the gun, spinning violently around to face the bed. A cruel smirk spreads across his face. "What do you think you're doing, David?"

Davey paused and looked up at him. He still had one foot tied up. He couldn’t move. His eyes focused on the barrel of the gun and then he locked eyes with Cole. 

"That was clever, David. Very clever. I'm impressed." He raised the gun, aiming directly at Davey's chest. "I under estimated you," he paused, cocking the gun, "It won't happen again."

Davey ducked, silently praying for something, anything. He was going to need a miracle to get Adam and himself out alive. 

A cold laugh spilled from Cole's lips. "You put up a brave fight, David. I'm impressed. But it wasn't enough." He walked slowly towards the bed, his aim remaining steady. "Now how would you like to die, David? A quick shot to the head? Wait, I know. How about a shot to the heart. Leave you here to bleed beside your lover. Won't that be poetic?" 

Slowly, Davey wiggled his foot, the rope starting to loosen. He kept eye contact with his captor, slowly rasing his eyebrow. Quickly, he grabbed Cole's hand, pushing it up and away from both of them, his foot snapping from its ropes, finally freeing it. 

Cole jerked back, startled by Davey's sudden actions. His eyes narrowed, a cruel smile forming on his lips. Slowly, he backed up, allowing Davey room to climb from the bed. "So this is how you want to play, David?" A chuckle fell from his lips, "This will only making killing you all the more enjoyable. I love a good struggle."

Davey's eyes searched the room for anything to aid him in getting away only to come up with nothing. His breath was harsh and uneven. He was terrified. He knew this man wouldn’t hesitate to kill him. If he didn’t do something he was as good as dead. "You never had any intentions of letting me go, did you?"

"Such a smart man, David. Why would I simply let my hit walk right out the front door? Even I'm not that crazy."

Davey held his arms out. "Do it. Go for it." His eyes locked on Cole's. For a brief second he cut his eyes to the broken mirror behind him. In the reflection he could see Adam's gun under the bed. He jerked his stare back to Cole to keep him from noticing.

"Eager, I see. Ready to join you're lover in death? I'm willing to bet he's run straight into her arms...And where will that leave you?" 

Davey fell to his knees next to the bed, dropping his arms at his side as if he was giving up. He hung his head. "You're right. He doesn’t love me." He could feel the gun at his fingertips and slowly he inched his hand to it. 

Cole's eyes narrowed. Something wasn't right. Something didn't feel right. Davey was giving in too quickly. Something was wrong. "What are you playing at, David?" he hissed.

"Just get this over with, you win. He doesn’t love me. I'm fighting for nothing." 

Cole shook his head, "You're hiding something, David."

Finally able to reach the gun, he clamped his hands around it and pulled it out, pointing it at Cole. Surprisingly, his hands were steady and his eyes were dark. He was tired of being scared. One way or another, this was going to end. 

Cole felt his heart pound. Adam's gun. How could he have forgotten? Anger and unease slowly simmered within him. His face, however, remained a mask of cruel certainty. "So full of surprises, David. I'm impressed. But can you pull that trigger faster than I can?" he breathed, rasing the gun to Davey's head, his eyes challenging.

Davey's voice was dark and dead even. "After what you've done to me and Adam, you're lucky you're not already dead." 

"Such strong words and no action to back them up." 

He raised his hand, the gun aimed between Cole's eyes. "I can be like you." He cocked the gun back and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He could see his own blood dried to his hair line, the bruises on his face, the cut to his lip from being hit. He could see Adam's blood on his cheek and around his mouth. 

"I doubt that David. You don't have the heart," Cole countered, raising the weapon in his hand to Davey's head, a cool smile forming on his lips.

Quickly he swung his arms, aiming the gun at Cole’s right shoulder. Without a moments hesitation, he pulled the trigger, the loud crack startling him. Cole stumbled backwards, pain tearing through him. A hallow chuckle fell from his lips. "Very good. But can you finish it?" he taunted, his eyes challenging. 

Davey cocked the gun back again and pulled the trigger, aiming at the opposite shoulder. The wounds matching Adam’s.

Another hiss flew from Cole's lips, pain radiating through him. "So brave. Do you really think that will stop me?" Slowly, he pushed himself up, grimacing as he raised his arm. Pain shot through him. No, it wouldn't end this way.

Another look in the mirror and Davey pointed the gun at his heart. He'd done so much to them both. At this point he wasn’t taken another life, he was cleansing the world of a monster.

"What are you afraid of David?" Cole hissed as he wrapped his finger around the trigger, taking aim at Davey's heart. Just a little pressure and the job would be done.

Davey put his finger on the trigger and squeezed, his eyes clenching shut. The bang from this shot seemed louder than the rest, deafening. Slowly he opened his eyes. 

Cole's eyes widened as he slumped backwards. He could taste the bitter metallic of his blood on his tongue. Pain slowly traveled through him, consuming him, as white stole his vision

Davey stared, panic coursing through him. Oh God! He'd shot him. His first instinct was to help until he realized exactly who it was he would be helping. He dropped the gun and stared at him.  
He crawled over to Adam and lightly touched his face. Letting complete emotion flow through him, Davey started to cry. "Adam," he whispered. "Wake up." 

The soft words slowly traveled through Adam's hazy mind. Jumbled and barely audible, he tried desperately to focus on them. Focus on anything but the black surrounding him, the exhaustion passing over him. _Davey_. The name echoed in his mind. Davey was calling to him. But he sounded so far away and Adam so was tired. I can't, he thought.

Davey turned his attention to Adam's waist and saw the blood pooling around him from where the gun had been. He clenched his eyes shut and pulled up the pants to make him decent. "I can’t get you out of here by myself and I don’t want to leave you." 

He could hear Davey's voice louder now, the pain and the fear. Davey needed him. A soft moan feel from Adam's lips, though his eyes remained shut, his body limp. Davey picked up his hand and placed it to his face. "Adam, goddamn it wake up." 

"Davey," Adam whispered, his voice weak. Pain engulfed him. He couldn't move, he could barely breathe. 

A sob of relief fell from Davey’s lips, his eyes slowly falling shut. He was alive. Adam was alive. "Adam, did you have your phone? I need to get you help." He questioned, trying his best not to jostle him. Davey didn’t want to move Adam to search him if there wasn’t a reason to. 

Adam barely nodded, a pained moan falling from his lips. God he wanted to die. He wanted the pain to stop.

He searched his front pockets, not finding anything. It had to be in the back pocket. Davey took a deep breath. "Adam, I need to move you."

A pained whimper fell from his lips, "It hurts. Make it stop...Please make it stop."

"I'm trying," he said petting his hair. "I need to call for help." He lifted him gently and checked his pockets. He found his phone in the back pocket and pulled it out. 

Squeezing his eyes shut, Adam tried desperately to block the pain. He wanted to be numb. He wanted it to stop. Why couldn't he have died?

Davey called for an ambulance and applied pressure on Adam's leg. That was where he seemed to be losing the most blood. He told the dispatcher where they were and was told that help would be there soon. "Adam, can you look at me?" 

Slowly, Adam opened his eyes, his vision blurred slightly. "I'm sorry," he breathed.

"Why?" 

"This is my my fault."

"No, it’s not." Davey whispered, rubbing Adam’s cheek with his thumb.

"I should have known...I should ha have seen it coming." Adam closed his eyes once again. "Why didn't I see it?"

"Adam, I don’t blame you and you shouldn’t blame you."

Adam swallowed thickly. Pain, guilt, and anger washed over him. "I should be dead. I deserve to die."

"No. I would have stopped fighting if he'd killed you," Davey whispered looking down. 

Adam shook his head, "I failed again. I couldn't protect you...Just like I couldn't protect Lily..." His voice slowly trailed off as darkness threatened to claim him once again. He just wanted to forget.

"Adam, I'm alive. You didn’t fail." Davey leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I'm right here." 

Davey leaned his head down and laid it on Adam's stomach waiting. He placed his hand over his heart and just feeling it made him feel better. He knew the ambulance had to hurry up. He'd lost a lot of blood and Davey wasn’t sure how much longer he would make it. He kept his hand on the leg wound and waited. ' _Please God don’t take him from me_.'


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Davey sat by Adam's hospital bed, his head on the mattress next to Adam, asleep. It hadn’t taken long for the ambulance to find them and rush them to the nearest hospital. Davey had been checked out and, beside a few bruises and cuts, he was going to be okay. Adam, on the other hand, had lost a severe amount of blood and suffered significant trauma from the rape. He was going to be in the hospital for a few days until he was stable and sound enough to be released. Karn, thankfully, had been arrested a few hours after the two men had been admitted. All that was left was for Adam to wake up, and for Davey’s sake as well as his own, make some peace between them. 

Pain was the first thing Adam's hazy mind registered. Everything hurt, a dull steady ache. The drugs they'd given him still ran heavily through his system, his mind clouded. A soft steady beeping filled his ears a few moments later. He couldn't place it at first. Where was he? 

Slowly, his eyes fluttered open. The bright white walls nearly blinded him and he had to blink several moments just to adjust and focus his eyes. _A hospital_ , his mind registered. He was in a hospital. Sluggishly, his eyes wandered up, locking on the IV stand beside him. Drugged, no wonder he felt so odd. 

Davey never felt him stir. He was still very much asleep. His hand clasped Adam's and held it, needing some kind of contact. 

Adam pulled his hand back as the touch registered in his mind. His eyes slowly wandered down towards the sleeping figure sitting beside him. It took him a few moments to figure out just who sat at his side. Davey. Why was Davey here? What happened? Confusion flooded through his mind. What was going on?

The movement of Adam's hand from his woke him and he looked up, sleepily. Adam was awake. "Hey," he whispered. 

As his eyes focused on the large bruise under Davey's left eye, images of Cole's smirking face, Davey's bound form, and blood so much blood filled his mind. His eyes widened. _Oh God_.

"Adam?" Davey reached up to touch his face. "It’s okay." 

Adam jerked away violently, moving as close to the opposite side of the bed as the wires and tubes he was attached to would allow. _Oh God. Oh God. Oh God_. He could feel the gun, hear Cole's laugh ringing in his ears. He tried to block it out, to force it away. _No, God. No_. This couldn't be real. This didn't happen. Not to him. 

Davey stared at him. "Adam... please,” he started slowly, “You shouldn’t move like that. You'll hurt yourself more." 

"No," he whispered, his eyes tightly shut, "This isn't real. This isn't real." 

Tears welled Davey’s eyes. He knew what Adam remembered. He could see it in his face. And there was nothing he could do to make it better. "Cole's dead." he whispered, hoping that finality would calm Adam, even slightly. 

_Cole_. Anger swarmed through him. He'd raped and killed Lily. His Lily. She suffered because of him. Died because of him. And Davey. He'd raped him, beaten him. Cole could have killed him. And it was Adam's fault all of it. He wanted to die. Why was he still alive? 

Davey reached for his hand again. "We are both gonna be okay." 

"Don't touch me," Adam hissed, pulling his hand away again. He didn't deserve his touch. Didn't deserve anything. He'd failed. He deserved everything he'd gotten. _My fault_ , his mind screamed. _All my fault_.

Davey's breath hitched at the venomous tone in his voice. He jerked back and looked down. "I'm... I'm sorry."

Adam turned to face the window. To face away from Davey. He couldn't look at him. He couldn't think anymore. It hurt. It killed him. "Leave."

Davey stared at him, his mouth dropping open. He'd been here for two days waiting for him to wake up and was met with 'leave.' "Adam..." 

"Leave," he echoed once more, pulling the scratchy cotton blanket up and buried his head in his pillow. He wanted to disappear. Wanted to simply vanish.

Davey nodded and stood up silently, wiping a tear from his eye. Nothing had changed. He was hoping that if nothing else they could lean on each other to make it through, but he was going to have to accept that he was a one night stand to Adam and that nothing he did would ever make Adam care for him as more than a job. 

Adam buried his head further into the pillow, feeling the tears welling in his eyes. He wanted to forget. Why couldn't he forget? A shuddering breath fell from his lips as more tears fell. 

"This is my fault," Davey whispered from the foot of the bed. "Not yours." 

Adam shook his head vehemently, refusing to face Davey. _Leave, please leave. I want to forget. Just let me forget_.

Davey took a deep breath. He didn’t want to leave him. He looked at Adam for a few moments and walked over to him, kissing his forehead. "Get some rest, Adam," he said wiping tears from his eyes.

Another shuddering breath fell from him as he felt Davey's lips gently pressing against his skin. Adam squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to stop the tears that spilled from his eyes. _Please just go. Please_.

Davey backed away from Adam and walked to the door, opening it quickly and running into Schultz immediately. 

"Marchand," he gruffly greeted the shaken man before him. He could see the pain in Davey's eyes. The hopelessness radiating from him. There was something more between the two men, at least on Davey's side. That much Schultz could sense. Davey hadn't left Adam's side in two days.

"Good morning," Davey echoed softly. "He's... he's awake."

"About damned time," Schultz chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. Something had happened between Davey and Adam. Whatever it was had completely shaken Davey. "He's been through a lot, Marchand. He needs time."

Davey nodded, tears filling his eyes. "I... I need to go." He started to head down the hallway. "I'll be in the chapel." 

"Whoa there," Schultz started, placing his hand on Davey's shoulder. "What happened?" The man needed to talk, that much Schultz knew. "Talk."

"He doesn’t want to see me. He won’t even look at me." 

"The bastard put him through hell and back, Marchand. He just woke up, you can't expect him to have it all together. No matter how strong he is."

"I didn’t expect him to kick me out." 

Schultz sighed, squeezing Davey's shoulder. "He needs time. Needs to come to grips with what happened," he explained. The hopelessness in Davey's stance overwhelmed him. "You love him." He whispered, things finally clicking in his mind. This was why Davey refused to leave Adam’s side, why he was so hurt by all of this. Davey looked at Schultz, not saying a word, his eyes filling with tears. "Son," Schultz started, unsure of what to tell him. How to help.

"I just want to be alone, okay?" 

Schultz, locked eyes with Davey, "He's been hurt, Marchand. I know you care about him, but it's just..."

"Its my fault. I fell in love. I let him..." He trailed off. "I just wanted to help him through it." Davey looked at him, sighing. "He was like this towards me before all of it." 

"He lost someone very, very close to him, Marchand. Someone he loved more than life itself. He hasn't been the same since she died. He doesn't let anyone in. And you want a part of him he hasn't let anyone touch."

"You don’t know what I want. I've been here with him for two days. All I wanted was him. That's it! I know he's been through a lot. I fucking watched it! I know. Don’t tell me what I fucking want!" 

"You're tired and you're stressed out, so I'll let that slide,” Schultz warned, eyes narrowing slightly. "Marchand, you're too close to the situation. I know you want to help him. I know you love him, but you're just too close...You’re acting like...Something happened between the two of you," he whispered, realization dawning within him.

"We..." He stopped, not wanting to answer.

Schultz sighed, placing his hand on Davey's shoulder once again. "And he pushed you away."

"Immediately after," Davey answered softly. 

"He loved Lily, more than life himself. She was his life...Adam...He blames himself for her death...Getting close to anyone else..."

"Well, just... when you go in... tell him not to worry about anything. He won’t have to see me again. I'm not going to push. I need learn from my mistakes," he stated, looking down after the last statement. He didn’t want to think of Adam as a mistake. 

"The trial," Schultz started, "You can't just walk away now. And if you love him, you won't. Not now. He needs you David, whether you want to believe that or not." Sighing, he turned towards the room, "You got under his skin. You meant something. He wouldn't have shoved you away so quickly if he didn't."

Davey looked at him. "I want to be here for him. He won’t let me." He sighed. "Don’t worry. I'll do the trial. I just won’t see him."

"He's a stubborn bastard when he wants to be," Schultz grumbled, "Always has been. Push him, if he cares, and I believe he does, he'll give in. It may takes days, weeks, months...Just keeping pushing."

"I can't go back in there," Davey whispered, shaking his head.

"You're going to have to eventually," Schultz reasoned.

Davey sighed, knowing there was little point in arguing. He would have to face Adam sooner or later. "And I may as well do it now... right?" 

Schultz nodded. "He'll try to fight you, he always has. Don't back down. Fight him right back if you have to. Be as stubborn as he is." Davey nodded and turned, walking back in the room.

*-*-*

Quiet sobs wracked Adam's form. Every time he closed his eyes he could see Cole's face. See him standing over Lily. Over Davey. Over himself. He couldn't shut it out. Couldn't make it go away. "I'm sorry," he whispered to the air before him, "I'm so sorry."

Davey slowly walked to the bed. It was more than Adam's own rape that was bothering him, he knew that. Something else was eating away at him, slowly killing him. Davey wanted to ease his mind slightly, his mind immediately falling on something he remembered Cole lying about, even though his fuzzy memory of the events. "Adam... he didn’t rape me." 

Startled, Adam swallowed thickly. Davey was back. Why did he come back? Didn't he know it was safer to stay away? Slowly, the words sank in. _He didn't rape me_. No, Schultz lied about Lily to protect him. Davey was doing the same. 

"He threatened. He touched, but he never..." 

"He raped her, killed her. He..he said..." Adam trailed off, hissing in pain as he tried to wrap his arms around himself. 

Davey walked over to the bed and leaned down. "I know. I'm so sorry." He pressed his forehead to Adam’s and lightly held his hand. 

Adam didn't push him away, the tears flowing freely. "I'm sorry. I did this. It's my fault. All my fault. I didn't mean..." He trailed off, sobs overtaking him. He could have done more. He should have done more.

"Adam, this isn’t your fault. You did everything you could." He sat down and laid his head on Adam's chest looking up at him. "I only have a few cuts and bruises. I’m fine." 

"I could have...I should have…I'm sorry." His voice was broken, tears streaming down his face.

Davey reached up and wiped his face, ridding him of the tears. "It killed me to see him hurt you. It killed me."

The heat of Davey's finger tips burned Adam's cheeks. He didn't deserve this. Not after all he'd done. "I'm sorry."

"It’s alright. It’s over." Davey laced his fingers with Adam. "I can leave if you want me to."

"Why didn't he kill me? Why?" Adam choked out. "He should have killed me." His grip tightened around Davey's hand, unable to look him in the eyes. 

"I don’t know, but I'm glad he didn’t." Davey brought Adam's hand up to his mouth and kissed it gently. "I need you with me."

Adam's body shook with the force of his sobs. Hopeless. He'd never felt so hopeless. So lost. Everything was skewed far beyond his comprehension. He didn't know himself anymore. He wasn't himself anymore. 

Davey sat up and inches closer to his face. He nuzzled against his neck and lightly kissed it. "Please don’t shut me out." 

Tears continued to flow down Adam's cheeks, his vision blurry. Fear and anguish overtook him. Everything he'd known was shattered. he wanted to forget, wanted it all to go away. Davey's lips were warm against his skin, and he focused on that. Forced himself to feel, to forget.

"I love you," Davey breathed, turning to whisper in his ear.

Adam froze, the familiar fear snaking through him once again. Davey loved him. He couldn't understand it. "Why?"

"I can't explain it. You’re an asshole to me, I’m not going to deny that," he said, laughing a bit. "I just... when you touch me it feels like I can do anything." He closed his eyes. "You’re the only reason I survived what happened." 

Adam swallowed thickly, squeezing his eyes shut, trying desperately to cease his tears. Crying wouldn't help him. It wouldn't change anything. He'd been broken, violated. Nothing and no one could change. He wasn't the same man. He never would be again. "I don't deserve...You don't need this...I'm not..."

"You're not what?" 

"I'm not worth it." Adam whispered, softly.

"Why?" Davey looked up at Adam, locking eyes with him. He was every bit worth it, that Davey knew. 

"I...I'm not...I don't know if I can...I'm too fucked up for this...I just...I don't know if I...You need someone who's certain, sure of themselves. And I...I don't..." Tears choked off his words once again. He didn't know if he could do this, if he could open up. Trust. He wasn't okay, wouldn't be for a long time. He might never be.

Davey lightly pressed his lips to Adam, wanting him to feel something secure, warm. He kept their fingers laced but didn’t push to deepen the kiss, keeping it as gentle as possible. 

Adam didn't move. Didn't respond to the kiss, unsure of what to do. His mind was torn. Davey loved him, trusted him, wanted him. He wouldn't hurt him. But after all Cole had done, the hell he'd suffered through, Adam wasn't sure he could do this. Wasn't sure he could trust again. Wasn’t sure he could let himself be vunerable like this.

Davey broke the kiss and looked at him. "I want to help you through this," he whispered, "No one is perfect and I won’t push you, I promise. Just know that when you need me, all you have to do is ask."

"I'm sorry," Adam whispered, wishing things were different. That he could make it right. 

Davey looked down. "Please stop apologizing."

Adam sighed, slowly releasing Davey's hand. "You don't need this. I don't want you to have to deal with this. With me. You were right. I am a bastard. I fuck things up spectacularly. You don't need that. Not now. Not with someone who isn't sure if they can ever give you what you want."

Davey’s eyes filled with tears and he looked away. "You want me to go?"

A sigh feel from Adam's lips, his eyes trailing over Davey's face. "I don't…I don't want to fuck you up too." He sighed once more, "I don't know if I'll ever be able to give you what you want from me. Give you anything. I don't even know who I am. Not anymore. How how can I ask you, ask anyone, to take that on? You deserve better than that." 

Davey looked at him. "I never wanted to be just a fuck," he said softly. "I was prepared to take you and all your demons." 

"You don't want these demons."

Feeling completely hopeless he pulled back and stood up. "Loving you means loving all of you," he said wiping tears away. "But I... I can’t love you if you won’t let me."

Adam's eyes fell upon Davey's drawn face. He could see the pain in his eyes and knew he was the cause of it. He always hurt those he loved. Lily now Davey. He couldn't ask him to put up with this. With him. Not now. Not after what happened. He wasn't even sure if he could love himself. "I'd only hurt you and you don't need that. I don't want to be the cause of anymore pain." _I don't deserve to be loved_. 

_You're hurting me now. Let me love you_. "Adam..." He paused, looking at Adam’s face. He was wasting his breath.

He could hear the uncertainty and hopelessness in Davey's voice. See the pain in his eyes. He wanted to fix this, his heart wanted to make this right. But his head couldn't forget all that happened. And he knew he'd never fully be able to let Lily go. How could he as Davey to take all of that on?

"I've been here for two days, waiting for you to wake up." His voice was quiet. Adam nodded. Davey had been there for him the entire time. Hadn't left him. Davey smiled. "You snore."

Adam chuckled softly, "Lily always said I could wake the dead." His eyes slid shut for a moment, allowing the memory to overtake him. He missed her. Missed her so much.

"The dead... a rock. Either. Kinda cute though." 

He nodded silently, "I miss her so much." His voice quivered slightly as he spoke. 

Davey looked down, sighing. "I know you do." 

"I'm sorry. You don't need to hear this. You don't want to hear this...I just...I'm sorry."

Davey ran his hands over Adam’s face. "She's a part of you. I'll listen." 

"She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to die...To be put through what that monster out her through. She was innocent. It was me they wanted, why didn't they just get me? We were...I was going to...She was everything to me and I lost her. She died because of me. How am I supposed to live with that? How am I supposed to live with any of this?" Adam's chest heaved, his eyes glistening with tears once again. 

"Would she want you to be happy?" Adam nodded silently. "Then, whatever it may be that makes you happy, do it."

"I just...I don't know if I can."

"Can I ask you something? I need to know this for me." Adam nodded, his eyes locking with Davey's.

"Why... why did you...make lo... why did you fuck me?" He couldn’t even bring himself to look at him when he asked. 

Adam swallowed thickly, his eyes falling to the blanket now resting on his waist. "I..I wanted to forget. I wanted to feel something. I didn't...It wasn't supposed to go that far...I just...When you...I needed you. You made me feel alive for the first time since Lily...and I...I couldn't stop myself...I didn't want to stop myself."

"You used me then?" His voice was still level, soft. 

"Yes...But I...After...When you...When you said you loved me...I just...It was more than a meaningless fuck. That scared me. I...I didn't it to mean so much...I...Everyone I love...I end up hurting...I end up losing...I didn't want to do that again...I wasn't strong enough," Adam finished, fingers tugging on the edge of the blanket in his hands.

"But you don’t love me." Davey's eyes hadn’t left the floor since he'd asked the question. He couldn’t look up. It broke his heart to look at Adam. 

Adam sighed, his eyes raising to Davey. "I didn't plan on it. I didn't want to. But I couldn't stop it. I couldn't lock it away."

Davey finally looked up at him, locking eyes with the man he'd been in love with for weeks. "Adam..." 

"Davey," Adam echoed, not quite sure what else to say. What else to do. He'd said it. Let it out. There was no turning back now.

"You... you're in love with me?" His voice was shocked and an octave higher than normal. 

"I just...I didn't...Yes," he finished dumbly, eyes once again falling to the blanket bunched at his waist.

Unable to believe what he was hearing, Davey brought his hand up to his mouth and stared at Adam, silence filling the room. 

Adam felt uneasy under Davey's stare, "I know I keep fucking things up...I just...Maybe I shouldn't have said...Please just say something...Anything...Tell me to go to hell...Something..."

"Holy shit!" Davey shouted, breaking the silence of the room, eyes wide and unsure.

Adam jumped slightly at Davey's exclamation, still unable to raise his eyes to the man before him. A nervous chuckle feel from his lips. Why was this so hard?

"I believed you when you said I meant nothing." 

"I'm sorry...I just...If you hated me...I just...I thought you'd be safe if you wanted nothing to do with me. You couldn't be hurt if you didn't matter...I..."

Davey leaned down and lightly kissed his cheek. "I won’t push this."

Adam shivered under the soft warmth of Davey's lips, nodding gratefully. He didn't know if this would ever work. If they would ever work. If he could let Davey in. "I'm sorry...I just...I want...I just...I don't know if I can."

"I'll wait, and we can find out." 

"What if I can't do this? I just...I don't want to tie you to something that may never..."

Davey placed his finger to Adam's lips. "Shhh...That’s my decision."

Silently, Adam nodded, his eyes closing once again. He forced himself to focus on the warmth of Davey's skin against his lips. Davey's presence. This was familiar. This was safe.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Sunlight streamed through the partially shut blinds, pouring across the hardwood floor. With a slight groan, Adam turned on his side, burying his face in his pillow. "Too early," he mumbled to himself. He lay like this for another few minutes before grumbling and tossing the covers off his warm body. 

With a hiss, he pushed himself from the bed. His left shoulder still ached, a constant reminder of the hell he had endured over three months ago. The doctors suspected nerve damage and told him not to expect to ever fully regain total function of his shoulder. Something Adam was still coming to grips with.

Davey walked into the bedroom carrying two cups of tea and placed Adam's next to him on the night table. He smiled at him before going to his side of the bed. "I figured the sun would wake you up." 

"Evil bastard," Adam grumbled, groping blindly for the mug. "Thanks." 

Davey took his place in the bed next Adam, straightening his t shirt and laying back on the pillow. "Did you sleep well?"

Adam nodded, "I think the nightmares have finally stopped." For months the nightmares had plagued him. Memories of that day looping through his mind. Cole’s face, Davey tied to the bed. And he couldn’t save him. No matter what he tried, he couldn’t save Davey. Cole always won. He shook those thoughts away. For one night, at least, it seemed he’d been freed from Cole’s grasp.

Davey smiled. "Good. You need sleep." He settled back down into the bed and looked at Adam, lightly placing his hand on his chest. 

Adam sighed at the contact, placing his mug back onto the bedside table before leaning back to lay beside Davey. Sighing, he rested his head against Davey's shoulder, relaxing against him. "How about you? You get any sleep?"

"Some. I'm still having some difficulty." Davey looked at him. "But I have you here." 

"Even if I snore?" Adam joked, a soft smile spreading across his face

"Earplugs baby."

Adam's hand swiftly connected with the side of Davey's head playfully, "I'm not that bad and you know it."

"Ow," Davey giggled.

"You deserved it,” Adam countered. Davey reached over and curled his fingers in Adam's side, tickling him. Adam hissed, struggling against Davey's assault. "Not cool."

"You hit me," he pointed out.

Adam chuckled, latching his hands around Davey's waist, moving so he gained the upper ground. "You made fun of my snoring."

"Well, you are chopping down forests." 

"Oh that's it Marchand," Adam hissed, his fingers digging into Davey's sides. Mirth danced in his eyes.

Davey bucked up, laughing. "Stop, stop, truce, truce." 

A smirk spread across Adam's face as he released Davey. "I win."

"This time. I will get you, Carson." 

Adam smirked, rolling over to face Davey once again. Laughter danced in his eyes as he rested his chin on his hand, "Promises. Promises."

Davey turned on his side as well to face Adam. He was handsome like this, happy and relaxed. "I will. You just wait." Adam rolled his eyes, smiling. Davey laid his head down on the pillow and looked at him, running his fingers through Adam's hair. "You're cute when you smile." 

Adam sighed, his eyes drifting closed once more as he rolled back onto his back. Davey's fingers felt exquisite against his scalp. "You're just cute," he mumbled in reply.

"I try."

"And so level headed," Adam teased. He loved spending mornings like this, laying beside Davey just enjoying each other’s company. "Careful, if your ego gets any bigger you're never going to be able to fit through the door." 

"Then I guess I'll just stay in bed," he teased. He wiggled closer, snuggling against Adam's chest and closed his eyes. 

He loved it when Davey cuddled against him. Loved the warmth of his body, the familiar comfort it brought. Adam shook his head, laughing softly. "What are we going to do with you, Davey?" 

"You are going to cuddle me, and you are gonna like it." 

Another peel of laughter feel from Adam's lips, "So demanding."

Davey looked up at him. "I have my wants and I want to be cuddled . I always get what I want."

Adam cocked an eyebrow, "Is that so?" Davey nodded assertively. "And if I don't want to cuddle?" Adam challenged smirking.

"Well what do you want then?" 

Adam sighed, "I'm just messing with you, Dave. This is nice. I like this."

Davey cuddled and nuzzled back into him. Things had been pretty well since Adam had been released from the hospital. They were taking things slowly, a peck here and there, but the nights they spent talking and holding each other felt wonderful. Davey would wait as long as he had to for him. 

Adam sighed, his arm tightening around the man beside him, rubbing his back softly. Davey had been wonderful with him. Patient, understanding. Sometimes Adam didn't quite understand just how Davey managed it. But he appreciated Davey's love and his understanding more than he could even begin to say. "Can we just stay like this all day?" he mumbled softly, turning his head to place a soft kiss to Davey's forehead.

Davey smiled at him. "If that's what you want. I wouldn’t mind being curled up like this for eternity if I could have it." 

"We'd starve," Adam pointed out with a soft laugh.

"There are cookies in the side drawer," Davey pointed out, giggling. 

Adam shook his head, chuckling softly, "You and your cookies." His hand slid lower on Davey's back. Softly, his fingers rubbing against the small of Davey's back.

Davey clenched his eyes shut and shivered. His back had always been sensitive and when Adam touched him there it was electric. 

A soft smile spread across Adam's face as he felt Davey shiver against him. His fingers pressed against Davey's clothed back with slightly more force, wanting more of this reaction. Davey whimpered trying hard not to react, not to let his body put pressure on Adam. He curled more into him and inadvertently dug his nails into his side. 

The sharp pain of Davey's nails digging into his sides pulled a soft hiss from Adam's lips. Tiny pinpricks of pleasure raced through him. He could sense Davey's struggle to control himself. To not react. "Davey." His name spilled from Adam's lips in a soft whisper.

"Hmmm..."

Rolling to his side, Adam allowed his eyes to wander over Davey's form. The sharp, distinct angles of his face, the soft ripple of muscle beneath the black cotton of his t shirt. Feeling bold, Adam leaned his head down, trailing soft kisses along Davey's jaw before sliding down to the side of his neck, feeling Davey's hammering pulse beneath his lips.

A harsh tremble jolted through Davey's body. Adam was kissing him, touching him. All on his own. He leaned his head back and moaned softly. Adam's mouth felt exquisite, but as much as he wanted to arch, to bite, he waited for Adam to make each move on his own.

Letting his eyes slip closed, Adam sighed against Davey's warm skin, allowing his fingers to trace along Davey's sides before settling back on his back. He loved the way Davey responded to him, the way he melted against him. It felt wonderful to be pressed against him like this. To enjoy the warmth and the comfort of his body pressed against his own. 

Davey couldn’t hide his arousal from Adam, no matter how hard he tried, now. He whimpered softly and curled his head into Adam's, his hand gripping his bicep and feeling it flex with each movement. 

A soft whimper fell from Adam's lips as Davey's erection pressed against his thigh, startling him. Pulling back slowly, Adam smiled weakly at Davey before placing another soft kiss to his neck then his cheek. 

"I'm sorry," Davey whispered, sensing Adam’s unease. 

Adam shook his head, "No, it's not you...I just...It's too soon...I'm the one who should be sorry." His eyes lowered to the soft green of the sheets beneath them.

"I react when you touch me," Davey pointed out softly. 

Nodding guiltily, Adam slid farther back onto his side of the bed. He shouldn't have touched him, shouldn't have led him on. "I'm sorry."

Davey looked down. "I'm...I'm gonna go take a shower."

"I'm sorry. You don't have to leave. I'll go," Adam whispered, pushing himself up from the bed. Softly, he padded towards the door, turning back to face Davey, "I didn't mean to."

Davey looked at him. "Why are you leaving?"

Adam smiled weakly at him, "I just thought it would be better if I just let you be for a while. I don't want to make this worse. I just...I'm trying, I really am...I just..."

Davey climbed off the bed and walked over to him. "Would you rather I not get hard when you touch me? I mean, if you ever do really want me, getting hard is a good thing."

"No, I just...I don't want to keep doing this to you...What if I'm never ready to take this, us further? That isn't fair to you." Adam paused, sighing. He felt horrible, selfish, frustrated and guilty. Why couldn't he just get over himself? Get over everything?

"You want to end this?" Davey looked at him, fear and heartbreak in his eyes. He was trying for nothing.

Adam shook his head, "I just don't want to drive you away. And if I can't get over this I will. I know I will. And I don't want to do that to you. I don't want to lose this."

"So you leave?"

He stared blankly at Davey for a moment before collecting himself, "I'm not leaving this...Just the room...I...I figured you wanted some space."

"I wanted a shower to... get rid of things. Not you."

Adam nodded, not moving from the doorway, unsure of just what he was supposed to do. He loved Davey, he wanted to be here, with him. Wanted to be able to give him everything, but he couldn't forget Cole and the hell he'd suffered because of him. Something about Davey's words, though light hearted, struck a cord in him, "That should be my job."

"You shouldn’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for," Davey said, walking towards Adam reaching out to lightly touch his cheek. 

Adam sighed under the contact, his eyes slipping closed. "I love you, Dave," he whispered, his eyes opening once again to lock on Davey's dark ones.

Davey smiled and leaned in, pressing his head against Adam's chest. "I love you, too." 

Smiling, Adam wrapped his arms around Davey, pulling him closer against his body. After a few moments he released Davey, tracing the pad of his thumb across Davey's cheek.

Davey looked up at him, smiling still. "What?" 

A smirk spread across Adam's face, his eyes dancing with mirth. "You really should shower, Marchand. You kind of stink." 

Davey playfully pushed him back. "You're an ass." 

"And you love me for it," Adam countered, playfully swatting at his arm, "Now get your ass in the shower, Mister."

With a smirk of his own, Davey leaned in and licked the side of Adam’s face before running for the bathroom. 

A shiver ran through Adam, his eyes slipping shut. The soft click of the bathroom door brought him back into reality. "Not cool, Davey. Not cool," he called after him, shaking his head. 

"Awww..." He called through the door, pulling his shirt over his head and stepping out of his pajama bottoms. "You big baby."

Shaking his head, Adam padded back towards the bed, tossing himself on it. "Just wait til you get out of there."

Davey smirked, grabbing a towel from the rack, wrapping it around his waist, before pulling the bathroom door open and stepping out into the bedroom, "Now what?" 

Adam's eyes widened slightly, wandering over the pale skin of Davey's chest. "That's not fair," he managed to choke out.

"What's not?" 

He pointed at Davey's attire, "That's not." He shook his head, "Coming out here in just a towel...Are you trying to kill me, Davey?"

Davey sighed. "Fine." Without hesitation, he dropped the towel. "Better?"

Adam swallowed thickly, his eyes wandering over Davey's body, forcing him to shift uncomfortably on the bed. "You are an evil, evil man do you know that?" He managed to choke out somehow finding his voice.

Smirking, Davey turned and bent down, picking up the towel. "I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"That is just cruel."

He wiggled his hips a bit. "No, that was cruel." 

Adam shook his head again, "Get your ass back in that bathroom, Marchand." Davey playfully threw the towel over his shoulder and sashayed into the bathroom. With a groan, Adam turned, burying his face into his pillow. This man would be the death of him.

Davey stepped in the shower, deciding if he couldn’t make love to Adam, he would torture him a bit. He slid his hand down his chest, wrapping his long fingers around his cock, stroking himself slowly. Soft moans fell from his lips, knowing full well Adam could hear him.

The soft moans and sighs that drifted from behind the bathroom door filled Adam's ears. That was it, Davey was trying to kill him. The ass. He buried his head further into his pillow trying desperately to block the sound. He wasn’t going to survive this.

Davey curled the fingers of his free hand against the tile, panting. His short moans were breathy and he bucked into his hand. "Oh... oh God."

Adam hissed, pushing himself up from the bed. That was it. He had to get out of the room before he completely lost his mind, Davey's soft pants and sighs becoming too much for him to handle.

Davey was closer than he realized. With a harsh grunt he cried out Adam's name, coming over his hand as he stroked himself through his orgasm. 

Adam's hand froze over the doorknob, the hairs on the back of his neck standing as a shiver of desire rippled through him. Hearing his name fall from Davey's lips in that hitched, breathy tone shook him more than he dared think on. 

Soft pants fell from his mouth as he let his head hang for the water to run over him. He was exhausted from his orgasm, from standing. It took everything he had to muster the energy to turn the water off. Finally he did and wrapped the towel around his waist. 

A shaky breath fell from his lips as Adam heard the door of the bathroom slowly open. He didn't dare turn, knowing there was no way he could keep himself together now that Davey was wet from the shower and glowing from his release. He could barely focus on anything at the moment. Why did Davey feel he had to test him so?

"Are you leaving?" 

"Air," he managed to choke out, shivering slightly.

"Are you okay?" Davey asked, concern filling his voice.

"I'm fine," he answered, managing to smile softly when he turned to face Davey, making a point to focus on Davey's face and his face alone.

"You're flushed." Adam swallowed thickly, not quite trusting himself to respond. Davey walked over to him, touching his face, smirking. "Hear something you like?" 

His eyes widened slightly, "I...I...This is a bit much, Davey," he finished quietly. As much as his body was screaming for him to grab Davey by the waist, slam him onto the bed and pound into him as if his life depended on it, his mind halted him in his tracks. He couldn't. Not now.

Davey looked down. "Oh," he whispered backing away, all playfulness dissipating.

Adam saw the hurt spreading in Davey's eyes, his own heart breaking slightly at the sight. "I want you Davey. I'm not saying I don't. I want you so badly...but I just...I can't...Not now..."

Davey nodded and laid down on the bed. "I was just teasing," he said quietly. 

Adam's shoulders feel, guilt swimming through him. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," he whispered, dejectedly.

"I thought you wanted to lay in bed all day," Davey called softly. 

Adam sighed, "I did...I do...I just...I don't want things to be awkward."

"I can just go home." 

"No!" he shouted, eyes widening. Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself some, "I don't want you to go."

Davey jumped a bit at Adam’s shrill tone. "Okay... I just wanted to make you comfortable." 

"I...You can go if you want...I just wish you wouldn't." He settled himself on the chair near the door, "I'm really fucking this up...I'm sorry. I'll just shut up now."

Davey looked at him, pushing himself up from the bed. Slowly he put on his pajama bottoms and walked to Adam, straddling him in the chair, laying his head on his shoulder. 

Adam leaned his head against Davey's, breathing in the soft scent of vanilla from his hair. Slowly, his eyes drifted closed as he relaxed against Davey. He didn't know how, but he was going to make this work. He had to for his sake. And for Davey's.


End file.
